Today was my second day back at school, it was horrible and I don't feel like I can do it anymore but I cannot afford to start paying my student loans. My first class today was the same class where I first got a phone call from Tim's father telling me Tim was dead. I couldn't walk in the building for almost an hour. I sat outside alone sobbing, no one even approached me. I felt invisible it made me so upset. I kept thinking that Tim would text me and I could tell him what happened and he would say something to make me feel better, but obviously I got no such text. I don't have the will to do anything anymore. Tim was my reason that I could get through anything.
One of my high school friends texted me today also and told me that Tim came to her in a dream. I became so infuriated because why would he go to some nobody high school friend before he came to me? I hate when people say that Tim is watching me or in my heart or that they can feel him all around. I HAVE NOT FELT ANYTHING SINCE TIM DIED! This fact makes me think that the "feelings" that people have been getting are in their heads. I don't want to believe that at all, but if Tim really was somewhere, and we do have souls, he would have come to me first, he would have known the struggles I am having and come to me to comfort me. Nothing has happened. Someone please help me, if you truly believe your lost loved one has in ANY way communicated with you please help that happen for me. If you don't believe in souls, or have no defined religion, like me, please tell me what has gotten you through this...