Today,May 28 ,4 yrs ago,anniversary of my brother.You left us without a goodbye,I saw you one day before you left forever,I'd never imagine.I would've kissed you,hugged you tight,told you how much you mean to me and most importantly that I LOVE YOU.I keep replaying in my mind that day you left,the day you were found in the lake.I keep going back there,hoping I'll find an answer,but no answer is to be found.I went back then to a Medium,but she had no answers for me,I was disappointed,drove for miles to go there.One thing she said was my brother wouldn't want me to be sad.How can I not be,I'll have a sadness the rest of my life.It's a feeling in my soul,I can't put into words.The regret and guilt that I feel will stay with me forever.When I'm sad,my memories bring me back to when we were children and so much fun we had,I wish I could go back to that time and have you here.I wish alot of things,but those times are gone.Not sure what I'll do today,the day is here,almost 5:30 am,been up all night.But tonight we'll go to your favorite restaurant,Thai food and order your favorite dishes and talk about you,keep your memory alive.Hope I don't cry,but they'll be tears of love for you my brother.It's hard to believe you're not our lives no more,but your spirit is.I hope you forgive me for any wrongs I've done,I think at times I'm in denial.


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