I thought it might be best to join a group for sibling specific since they do not have one here in DFW. My sister passed away at 34 in February after a 17 year illness.  I know, its early, there is no time on grief... I have heard it all, I am trying to deal with the fact I am so extroverted yet I cannot talk about her and leave the room when I am at home. My parents talk about her and "see signs" that she is around but that is their way of dealing with it and I don't get "signs" or maybe I am not looking. I get upset as I move on with my days because I don't think of her as often and that bothers me. I have a time remembering her voice, that bothers me more. I wish I had more time, I would have stayed home longer at Christmas if I knew time was going to be shorter than expected. I wish I recorded her voice so I could hear it again. I work long hours and keep so busy that I don't have to deal with it. I am going home at Christmas to see my parents but I don't want to talk about her. Maybe I am wrong. I don't know...

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Comment by Christian R. on October 16, 2013 at 5:53pm

i lost my 21 yr old sister yesterday it was sudden my mom talked to her at 8am (she was spending the night at some friends) she told her she was going to go back to sleep and come home later, but she never woke up. Her friends called 911 and they tried CPR, but she was already gone. They are performing the autopsy today so we still don't know what happened. i never knew i could feel so much sadness and pain. i am 25yrs old and being her big sister is all i have know for so long. i cant even begin to fathom how i am supposed to live the rest of my life without her. it still doesn't feel real. i don't want it to be real. i don't know how to handle this loss or what to do with myself now. i know i have to be strong for my family, but i just feel like there is a giant hole in my heart that will never heal.

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