ANGEL AMY 5/15/87-9/18/08

Well, its November already. I am still not ready to celebrate holidays. It's been over 2yrs, and each night I say, "good night Amy" and then I shed a tear. I want to move on as they say, but I can't. Or maybe I just don't want to. Every day, I go over all the pics we have of you from albums when you were a baby up until graduation 2008 from Dental hygiene college. I want to put them all on a cd or dvd for your half-brothers and niece, and I just havent gotten it done. There are over 2000 pics. Not just of you of course, and also I have scanned grams albums of me and my sisters as we grew up. So, I am working on it. Just keep procrastinating and or editing as I go. You were so photogenic. I guess you were always an angel!!!!

I still wonder what happened and ask you each night to help me figure it out. Or to give us a sign. You left sat night around 6:30pm and all the horror happened around 10:pm. You said you would call later and "luv ya" and I said, "ok, luv ya" That call never came, I didn't call you either. I thought you were in bed sleeping for your busy day you had coming up. All the what if's go thru my head like all the other moms and dads here. IF, IF IF IF we had only done this or that, or if you had done that or this. I have to keep telling myself, it was meant to be. Or it would not have happened? But WHY such a beautiful person. So young and with so much to live for? What went wrong or did my fears come true? I always warned you about drinking too much or more about the highway you had to drive on to get where you were. All this happened in a house with underage friends without parents home. So, who do I blame?!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I did find out from your boyfriend, that you guys were doing shots and eating pizza and then playing beer pong. They put you to bed to sleep it off. He told me you fell out of bed and they put you back in and made sure you were ok. That was not a smat thing to do anyway, because maybe you would have asperated or just not have woken up. Who know when they would have checked on you. You were not in the usual bed downstairs. They put you in an upstairs room and closed the door. Some how, you got up and climbed I guess, onto a night stand near a window. We all assume you tried to open it, and lost your balance and slipped and fell 15 ft. The ambulance and paramedics were there within 5 min. They came to the house to tell me about an hour later. Dad didnt get in from out of town for maybe 6 hrs later. I told him you were still with us and to please come home safely. We all waited for you at the emergency room and didnt get to see you til you were in ICU. You never regained consciousness and or spoke to anyone that we know of. I have two pictures of that scene too. You were on life support. That was Sept 13th. You lasted until Sept 18th.

Well, anyway, I wanted to send you this flower. I think purple was one of your favorite colors. Remember, we painted your walls purple one time and then yellow with the purple rug? Its still in your room. Its not a room anymore. Its just got stuff in it. I havent decided what to do with it yet. But all the stuff you had in there, I have packed here and there and we are slowly deciding what to keep and what to give away. Things like, grad caps, gowns, papers you drew in grad school. Stuff like that. trinkets, jewelry and I stil have all the dried flowers I used to save for you from valentines day, etc. Cards and letters you wrote or got over the years.

Ok, I am rambling. You would have told me to stop already, lol.

Just know we love you dearly and miss you so much. Gram Masher says to say hello and sends her love and hugs too. She most likely wont ever get online,haha.

xxxxoooooo mom and dad

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