Just a thought.......
I have been reading all these heart breaking stories since last August and I have watched the numbers grow each week and expressed to Tami that what she has done on here and brought together is truly phenomenal. Unbelievable how these stories reach across thousands of miles and find their way into all of our hearts. Donny’s mom commented to me that she hadn’t seen me on recently, but I have been here, every day like many of you. I read quietly, sometimes commenting on a story that is similar to mine or reaching out to someone whose pain is so raw that I can feel it in their words. I recently told Debra, Kathryn’s mom that “ I have watched life go on all around me and I have seen births, weddings, birthday parties and other celebrations all the while smiling and saying all the appropriate things but inside I just want to scream “How can you people be laughing and enjoying life !?!” When my kids were little I’d tell them that they had an inside voice and an outside voice. I taught them how to use it appropriately. That is how I relate to my heart. I have an outside heart that does all the appropriate things and then I have an inside heart that half is missing. Day by day we learn to take one step at a time. We learn to “cope” as it never seems to get easier”
I have also noticed something very similar that we all do on here. It is how we ALL relate to our children’s loss in days, weeks and months. Isn’t it odd that when our kids were born we’d tell people they were 4 days old then 11 days old then 2 weeks, 6 weeks then 14 weeks after 6 months we’d say they were 8 months and 2 days then 12 and ½ months, 17 months then 22 months we continued on until they reached 24 months, 27 months and then slowly we progressed into years. I honestly feel we have come FULL CIRCLE with our babies and it is a very weird kind of comfort but we now say it has been 4 days since I lost my child then 1 week, 3 weeks and 2 days then 2 months and 8 days then 6 months, 12 months 16 months 28 months..... This full circle seems to envelop and comfort me in warmth I can’t explain. Kind of like the feeling I get from all you with your heartfelt stories and kind words.
Thank you all