okay.. I've gotten through the first couple of weeks.. If you can even call it that..
The past week has been REALLY hard. It dawned on me that the holidays are literally right around the corner.
I use to enjoy the thought of Thanksgiving , Christmas, and New Years.
Now ....I'm just scared.
I've been told "your so strong , I'm not sure I could be that strong "
I don't know if I'm that strong..I feel like I'm losing it.
It's the 1st and two days from now it will be 2 months that my daddy has been gone ='(
24 days from Thanksgiving, 25 days from now would have been his 57th birthday, then my birthday,
christmas and new years.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this.
I've just cried for the past 4 days because I think " who is going to bar b que the turkey?" , "who is going to make the pumpkin pies?" , and "who is going to make dressing especially for me ? " These are all the things that my daddy did perfectly. I was waiting for him to tell me how he didn't want pumpkin pie for his birthday, and tell me how he wanted me to make his cake with bananas. And that's just this month.
Next month ... I can't even begin to fathom how I will feel.