I just read a great article on here about how a loss affects the family. We are just in the first month of suddenly losing my grandmother.
The shock right now is the biggest thing. She was completely fine and then she was gone. There was no illness, no time to come to acceptance. In fact, the previous weekend, she cooked Sunday dinner, like she always did.
She was there to sew a pair of pants, there to come over and talk, she was still driving around to the grocery store. Suddenly that all ended. It seems like she was never almost ever here, but yet it was only a month ago! I still cannot look at pictures, but I have made it over to her house and I realize the emptiness is real. I like to pretend to say good bye as I lock up and walk out to my car--pretending I do not hear a response.
My mother is taking the hardest because she was around her the most. Evening calls, visiting, etc. I did visit once or twice a week and call here and there but it was not ritual yet even with the less I did, Sunday dinner after Mass is a reality she is not there anymore.
As a certified Grief Counselor, I know we are all recovering naturally, but it is so much harder dealing with it yourself. Your emotions do not listen well to your mind. The reality is we must all work through our grief and learn to adapt to the absence.
I have a strong faith, and it helps me cope. I know that absence will only be temporary and there is a Sunday lunch waiting in Heaven
Mark Moran, GC-C
Academy of Grief Counseling