On 10/24/2009 I lost my sister - she died of a heart attack.  It wasn't like we didn't know this would happen.  She had her first attack 13 years earlier.  I just didn't expect it to happen when it did.  I was suppose to come down to SC so we could "trick or treat", but I was sick and didn't feel up to the trip.  Instead we received a call from the coroner!  To make matters worse when my Mom and I were heading to the airport, I hit a deer!  Very unexpectedly on 7/24/2011 my brother was killed by a drunk boater! His body was found the next morning.  As I pass the year anniversary of his death I find that I'm asking why more often.  The family will have a criminal case to go through and then a civil case - I feel that it's never ending.  My sister was 53 and my brother was 50.  To say it's unfair is an understatement! I've moved from NJ to SC within the past 8 months and at times I've never felt so alone.  It's very hard because I'm suppose to be the 'strong one', 'the oldest'. The one you can go to.  To make matters worse, his girlfriend was on the boat at the time so she is the only eyewitness - we are there to support her. Being single, who gets to support me?  I suppose I need to vent and I need to know that I'm not alone.  I know there are many others who have travelled this road, hit the bumps and potholes along the way.  Any suggestions?