Loss of Best friend to a murder-suicide

My best friend, Patti's life was taken by her husband in a murder-suicide right before Christmas last year. She was the sweetest person anyone could know, and the youngest of 7 children in her family.

I was close to her and also her husband.  The sad thing is, is that I encouraged her to leave her husband, but she assured me that she was handling everything. Her husband had lost his job 2 years prior, and also had a drinking problem.  Obviously he was depressed, and I would call him to encourage him very often and even helped him get a small job with me about 2 or 3 weeks before he killed Patty.

 

Anyways, I lost my dad a few months later, and its been much easier getting over losing him, as it made sense, as he was mid-80's.  I feel a lot of guilt with Patti's death, as I keep wondering if there was anything I could have done to help her. I did offer her my condo to live in and any support she needed to leave him. He kept drinking, and this was a huge issue.

 

Unfortunetly,Patti did not tell any of us the whole truth about Ken's troubles. I knew he had a gun which worried me immensely.  Patti finally decided it was time to file for divorce and that is when he snapped and killer her, then himself.  Why he couldn't have left her and just taken his life? I am trying to get my mind around the fact that there wasn't a lot I could do, but I still feel guilty? Why didn't I insists on her safety?

Fortunently, I attended a seminar by the Harbor House, which educated us on some of the warning signs of domestic abuse. I wish I had done this sooner, I feel like I could have gotten her to a safe place.

I was wondering if anyone else had a similar situation, and how you dealt with this.

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