Hi Mary -
I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband.. I lost my husband to cancer too. He passed here at home on the 16th of December 2009, the day after our daughters Birthday.... This has been a difficult time for me through this year and now it seems to be more painful again with the holidays coming up..
It is not easy and it seems theres not a beginning.. Just take one day at a time.. Theres a grieving process to go through and each day may be different for you.. When you feel you need to cry , just sit down for 15 minutes or so and cry.. As Janette said - keep the Lord in your life - this has helped me. I know my husband is in heaven and this has given me a peace within just knowing thats where we will be together again. God bless you Mary. You are in my prayers..