I am new to this site, but I have been searching for resources/support recently in a desperate attempt to "deal" with the sudden, brutal death of my husband. This coming Monday would have been only our second wedding anniversary and I can't begin to explain how much I am dreading getting through the day without him. We have a beautiful son together but I feel completely inadequate to raise him without his AMAZING father. At the same time, my son is my lifeline right now... there is NO WAY I would be here if it weren't for him - he truly is my only reason for living right now. I can't see past this pain or that there is any hope of feeling better... ever. I almost don't even WANT to feel better... the thought of ever finding happiness again feels so impossible and wrong. I don't know how to do this... I don't want to do this. I feel so cheated out of time... we had only JUST begun our lives together - what I would have given for just another anniversary with him...

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Comment by sharon cox on November 3, 2010 at 2:55pm
Kate,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 8 months ago very suddenly and the circumstances are very hard for me to deal with as well. I have 3 daughters and I feel the same way you do about raising them. I do know that in time, things will get better. When it happened, I had to take it second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. I felt I could hardly breathe at times. I'm a little better now, but I still have a hard time with it some days. My advice to you is to take it day by day and seek all the help you can to get better. Both you and your son will be better for it. I know how much you are suffering. Just know that you are not alone, we are here for you.
Comment by Paulette Fanelli on October 31, 2010 at 8:28pm
I am also new to this site. I am sorry for all the pain you are living with. I understand. There are hospice centers in most local hospitals and they offer free grief support group meetings for six weeks. Check with them to see if you can go when a new class starts up. It is good to hear what other people are saying and thinking. I did this when my son Dan died at 32 years old June 21 of this year. I went there and heard other peoples story and some where really sad and it helped me not feel so all alone and yes, there are people out there that do understand your pain, sorrow, anger, fear and all that goes with dealing with the death of someone you love so very much.
Comment by cheryl wilkins on October 31, 2010 at 9:47am
hi kate, i am new to this site also, i lost my husband 13 months ago suddenly and i feel the same cheated and WHY and cannot understand why take these good fathers from their children, my two teenage daughters have been my heart and soul and i hold them and that is why i have to keep on top of this grief. I tell myself he wanted everything we could possibly give to our girls and i have to continue that for him. just one minute together is all we ask !!stay strong kate but welcome the sadness too its all part of the journey to make sense of this cheryl x
Comment by Elizabeth Nonnemacher on October 30, 2010 at 9:32pm
Welcome to the site. I hope you find some peace in sharing your thoughts with us. I am so sorry for your loss, and you are right we dont know how to do this and I dont want to do this it really stinks BIG TIME. I hate it, but it does kind of help you get thru it knowing there are a lot of broken hearts out there. I hope to see you again. Take care of yourself and your son, he is
the sunshine to your day. He is part of your husband, and enjoy every moment with him. Please try....for your baby and your husband. Sending you a hug

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