Lost my best friend my love of 23 years

In March of this year my husband was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer that had metastasized to his liver given a 3-6 month life expectancy after 3 1/2 months of unbelievable pain and over a month of that a stay in the hospital he passed away on July 15th.  I am usually a very strong person but this is just tearing me apart I am scared to talk to friends and family because I dont want to be a bummer and depressed all the time with them.  I do feel depressed and very sad I hope and pray and can get better.  I miss him and love him very much.  He was not only my husband but our whole future revolved around him where is my future now.  Thanks for letting me vent.

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Comment by Theresa LaPointe-Miller on August 16, 2012 at 3:16pm

Maggie: My heart aches with the sense of loss you are experiencing!  I lost my husband 5 years ago...he was only 53.   Some times I STILL feel that mind crushing pain that you are feeling now.   I encourage you to talk of your feelings with those whom you love....they DO want to be there for you, but often grief isolates us.....makes us NOT want to share our pain with those who WANT to be there for us!   PLEASE allow them to comfort you in their own individual ways....I am guessing that your Scott loved you as much as you love HIM!  Do you think maybe HE is sending these people into your life to help you?  My thinking is these people you love are just waiting for you to accept them into sharing your pain ,too! They love YOU[ and ,most likely Scott,too! ] and will bring you comfort if you can allow them to.   I KNOW it is difficult.....and these pain-filled days  you are experiencing   SEEM like they are dragging you down...but if you can try and see them as gifts....as opportunities to celebrate his life....to remember what about him you loved.....and try to find the joy that he brought to you!  and please remember you are NEVER alone....you will be able to feel Scott still with you....LOOK for the signs that he will be sending you...they WILL be there....and they will fill you with joy... You still have blessings in your life.... I pray that you will feel peace!  Blessings,Terri 

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