Hi. Never imagined I'd be doing this. Just 2 months ago I lost my husband, business partner, confidante, and best friend. Got a phone call from my son about 15 minutes before he and my husband would have been done work. The most dreaded sound I ever heard--my son screaming and not able to speak in the phone--trying to tell his mom that his dad was dead! My husband went to work one day and never came home. He was 51, in perfect health, extremely happy in life and very hard working. With our kids getting older (22 and 15) life and just come back around to "us" time, and we had so many plans, including winding down our business after the next 5 years and doing more things we wanted to do. My husband had so many plans and goals for himself that I can't believe he's not able to do them. It's very difficult even after 2 months to believe this really happened. I cry every single day. Sometimes several times. I worked with my husband, we've been together for 30 years, married 24 next week, and were the lucky ones that never ran out of things to do or talk about. I lost half of myself, having been together since we were 22 years old, and don't know how to spend a day in my life without him in it.
My husband was killed in a senseless and tragic work accident that should never have happened. The problem is no matter what or who is at fault, he's not coming back. I have a hard time accepting that, because we were the kind that always thought you could get through anything or fix anything. I can't fix this. I'm lost, and so devastated that we don't get to watch our kids enter adulthood and make their own way in life, enjoy grandkids someday and family gatherings at our home with everyone here and happy, and watch my husband and son continue to work together in business so my son has a path carved for his future, even after his dad retired. My world is so uncertain. We always thought we'd grow old together in this house we've lived in for 27 years already, and now it seems like I don't even know if it makes sense. I think about his dreams and goals and how cheated he was not able to finish the things he was looking forward to. Why do bad things happen to good people? Everyone loved my husband, he was the most positive and happy guy anyone would ever meet. My kids are devastated and it's so unfair that they've lost their dad and best friend. He was the perfect dad--not perfect but that's what makes him that way. In fact our whole life was that way--so unperfect that it was perfect for us. Ups and downs but a wonderful family life and great relationships with each other. How does one get through a loss like this? It's so unfair, and you hear these things on the news all the time but never have I ever experienced any of these tragedies so close to home, especially this close. Every day I think about what we've lost and what my husband lost, and the only thing I can say is I really hope he is in a better place because I have now begun to live in hell on earth. I don't even know what else to say--I just can't stop crying and missing him. I truly lost my soul mate, that one person not everyone finds but I was lucky enough to.