"Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.

It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

                                                    ~Vivian Greene

Sometimes it may seem as if you live in a place where it rains all the time! Of course, there are all types of rain showers, some more difficult with which to deal than others.

1. It could be just cloudy and looking like rain.
2. It could be drizzling.
3. It could be a sun shower.
4. It could be a torrential downpour.
5. It could be a hurricane.
6. You could simply be walking around with a dark rain cloud over your head.

Even the tears you shed upon sad occasions (and happy ones too) can be considered a rain shower – however miniature in size. There’s nothing wrong with a good cry every now and then, though. It can release pent up tensions, as well as clean the lens with which you see the world.

Actually, life is very messy and a full one may include many rainstorms. Your job is to attempt to jump over the puddles and not cause too many dirty splashes to mar your life. And, if you do get drenched in a downpour, know it is only water and you WILL eventually dry off and feel warm and safe again!

In fact, if you change your perspective, you may even enjoy dancing in the rain for it can be looked upon as a celebration. The rain can be cleansing and clear your slate of circumstances or people who you feel are holding you back from living the life you desire.

Life is really about figuring out how to successfully maneuver through the rainstorms AND then recognizing and appreciating the dry spots where sunshine reigns (or good times are experienced).

When you get so used to fighting your daily battles, it is easy to miss a lull in the action when you can take a deep breath and regroup. Consequently, these “good times” go unnoticed and laments are uttered, such as, “I’m not happy.” “I don’t feel fulfilled.” “I’m lonely and/or I feel alone.”

The truth is that happiness is not a finite destination, and no one lives there one hundred percent of the time. In a life well led, it is not a realistic expectation that you will be able to avoid all sadness, loss or misfortune. Moreover, you are not being fair to yourself if every time you run into a sobering life experience, you declare that your life is miserable. Patience must be practiced, for the wheel of life always turns (with some help from you!). If you can push through less than desirable situations with fortitude and a positive attitude, you will be able to reach a calmer and happier period.

Moreover, stop searching for that elusive “happiness” and find something to make you happy in whatever circumstance you find yourself. The act of continually searching implies that you feel you will never be happy, no matter what you achieve. Additionally, as you only look towards the future, you are more apt to miss what is right in front of you that can bring you joy. Instead, just keep an eye on the future, but endeavor to enjoy the present moment by embracing both the rain showers and the sunshine of life.

Ellen Gerst is a grief and relationship coach and workshop leader. She is the author of several books on both topics, including: Suddenly Single: How To Find Renewal After Loss; Understanding Grief From A to Z; 101 Tips and Thoughts on Coping With Grief; How To Mourn: Help For Those Who Grieve and the Ones Who Support Them; Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story and Understanding Dating and Relationships From A to Z. For a full roster of her books, visit her website bookstore, Amazon, or Barnes and Noble. Connect with Ellen on Facebook to receive tips on how to find love after loss and how to cope with your grief.