I just had to have a talk to with my fiancé . He said he's concerned about me , concerned about my drinking and I don't blame him I am too. Ever since I ended up in the ER from drinking so much that my stomach became inflamed. Truth is it's easy to be drunk it's hard to be sober, I miss my brother Joshua so much. I know I need to seek help(from my pastor, counsoler  or a support group. I know I've had a problem with drinking in the past and I a couple of days ago I was drinking with my mom and said some horrible things and I haven't forgiven myself since that happened I know I need God and I know I can't live like this anymore.