My entry into this sad club began with a phone call on 4-12-11 at 2:30 pm. It was the FHP asking me if I knew my daughter had been in an accident. I said no. There was no way they could have been talking about my 20 year old daughter who had gotten up at 5:00 am to be to work at Kohl's by 6:00am. Not my daughter who called me when she got there and called me when she clocked out at 11:15 am. She said she was tired and on her way home. She called me at 11:30 and said her friend Randi had called and she was going to go there instead.

The next thing I know is I hear a knock on the front door. I was at home during the day because I had just lost my job of 10 years when the company closed. ( Boy was I stupid. I felt so sorry for myself for losing my job. I thought this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. What an idiot I was) It was Kasey at the front door. I don't know why I did it this way because I never had before, but I went to the back door first before unlocking the front door for Kasey. I did this because Kasey had a pitbull dog (Roxie) that loves people but does not get along with my 2 Lab mix dogs. Kasey's dog stays in the back yard and my dogs stay in the front. The locked front door is the signal that Roxie is in the house so the dogs don't meet. We alternate bringing them inside so they can get a/c and people time. EVERY other time I would have just opened the front door and let Kasey slip in. Every day I think what a difference those few seconds could have made.

Kasey runs in the house to grab $20. She says I have to hurry Randi and Kylie are in the car. Kylie is Randi's 3 year old daughter. She says bye and runs out the door. I remember looking out the front door as she was walking out the gate. I thought "oh, that is what she wore to work , she sure looks pretty. This was at 12:22pm. We live in a rural area where all the roads are dead ends and you can only get out by turning onto an extremely busy 2 lane highway with a speed limit of 55. I sometimes have to sit there for a full five minutes before I can turn left. My daughter apparently did a tap and go and pulled right out in front of a truck at 12:24. My baby was dying 1 minute away and I had no idea until the phone rings at 2:30. I asked if she was alive and he said she was when they Bay Flighted her out.

I then drove by myself to the ER that was 65 minutes away. It was the longest drive of my life. When I got there she didn't look that bad. I thought we can do this, however long it takes. Then the DR tells you she has a Christopher Reeve type of broken neck. Then I think oh no we are in big trouble, she would not want to live like that. The next words were she also has unsurvivable brain damage. That was it, my baby was gone. She "lived" until 4-14-11 but I know my baby died in that car. She was my only child and she had no children. She donated her organs and I was told yesterday she saved the lives of 4 people.

I miss her more and  more everyday and I see no point in going on. Her father and I divorced when she was 3. It was just the 2 of us together. We spoke every morning and every night. I am lost without her.
Both girls were wearing seat belts. Randi spent 5 weeks in the hospital and is expected to fully recover. Kylie was in her car seat and did not have a scratch on her.

Kasey Lynn I Love You a Million, Billion, Trillion Jupiters and back, Love Mommy

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Comment by valerie moore on September 10, 2011 at 5:58pm
dear sandra,  i am so sorry for the loss of your only child, she is beautiful.        i too lost my only child , dusty, aug 28 2009- worst day of my life,  new life of pure hell.  i continue to hurt so badly inside that life isnt worth living. i dont want to live without  my son anymore, i know this is very selfish, especially when he was a drug addict and his life was chaos.  i needed to be released from this horrible earth and live in paradise.  i miss him so very much.  sending my prayers to you.
Comment by Sandra LaBonte on September 10, 2011 at 12:22pm

Thank you all for the support. It means the world to me. I just have trouble sometimes getting the strength to get on here and respond. I am just so broken. I am thinking of you all and your beautiful children.

Kasey's Mommy (sandy)

Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on September 9, 2011 at 9:49am

Hi Sandra - I lost my only child, Tyler, at age 24 on 01/26/10.  He was my only child but also my best friend.  He understood me as no one else did.  We shared the same sense of humor and many other personality traits.  When he died my world ended.  It is so hard to realize I will never see him marry, have children, be there for me in my old age.  I feel I was closer to him than many parents are with their children.  It is hard to describe, but someone like you would know exactly what I am speaking about.  I live in the NE, but my in-laws lived in Spring Hill so we would visit often.  Their home is still there and we still go down once in a while.  We went there after Tyler's death and stayed for several months.  I am almost afraid to go back because it was there that I went through some of my darkest hours.  My husband had also lost his job about 4 months prior to our losing Tyler.  In retrospect, it was nothing compared to what was to come.  Yes, I am not a single mom, but I believe that in some ways I was much closer to Tyler than my husband was.  Also, we are grieving so very differently that I can't share my grief with him.  It is just like going through it all alone.  I will remember you and your beautiful daughter.  Tyler would be turning 26 in another week.  Remember me.

JoAnn

Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on September 9, 2011 at 9:49am

Hi Sandra - I lost my only child, Tyler, at age 24 on 01/26/10.  He was my only child but also my best friend.  He understood me as no one else did.  We shared the same sense of humor and many other personality traits.  When he died my world ended.  It is so hard to realize I will never see him marry, have children, be there for me in my old age.  I feel I was closer to him than many parents are with their children.  It is hard to describe, but someone like you would know exactly what I am speaking about.  I live in the NE, but my in-laws lived in Spring Hill so we would visit often.  Their home is still there and we still go down once in a while.  We went there after Tyler's death and stayed for several months.  I am almost afraid to go back because it was there that I went through some of my darkest hours.  My husband had also lost his job about 4 months prior to our losing Tyler.  In retrospect, it was nothing compared to what was to come.  Yes, I am not a single mom, but I believe that in some ways I was much closer to Tyler than my husband was.  Also, we are grieving so very differently that I can't share my grief with him.  It is just like going through it all alone.  I will remember you and your beautiful daughter.  Tyler would be turning 26 in another week.  Remember me.

JoAnn

Comment by Ilona H Hertz on September 8, 2011 at 9:27pm

I will tell you what I tell my daughter who's only child died and who was a single mom, KEEP GOING.  THIS IS THE ONLY LIFE WE HAVE!!!!  I wish there was a group of single moms who have lost their only child.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!  You can do much for yourself and others in the time left - we all die.  Please, I wish you strength and peace.  Just as I wish for me and my daughter.  Gavin's  (my only grandson) Grandma

 

Comment by Garry on September 8, 2011 at 6:00pm
Sandra, I am very sorry. Hugs, Garry.
Comment by Tami on September 8, 2011 at 6:00pm
Sandra, I was just reading your story, I have tears in my eyes because I can picture everything you are saying.... I too have lost a child, my 18 year old son. It is so strange because you hear people and they say " this would never happen to us" I know I did.... I still can't believe that it did. Kasey is a very beautiful girl, I believe that all of our children are connected as we connect, so rest assured that my son is with Kasey and helping her. Much love and many many hugs.
Comment by Sandra LaBonte on July 24, 2011 at 10:59pm
Thank you both for the support. Coleen please hug your children for me. I miss getting hugs from my baby. She was funny. One minute it was I'm 20 I can do what I want, then it was bring me a bowl of cereal and snuggle with me. I loved that. Sandralee I want to believe that with all my heart I'm just not there yet Sandy
Comment by coleen keiser on July 24, 2011 at 2:10am
I was reading the newspaper online and saw a Legacy post and then read your blog about your daughter. I have not lost a close relative and am a parent to 4 small children. I feel I must confess that. I have no business here, but was drawn for some reason. I read your blog and wanted you to know that as a mom, I wanted to offer a virtual pat on the arm, back, or just a  hug. I just felt a need to tell you I heard your blog and your daughter's name, Kasey Lynn. I said it out loud. I will remeber your story, and will try to remeber that when it all seems so chaotic and I run out of patience, that really children are to be cherished; as you have cherished Kasey Lynn. And that may give me a little more patience, or help me lighten up and hug them instead of becoming annoyed with their relentless needs at times. Thank you for helping me. (p.s., my 3 year old insomniac wont go to bed and rather than snap my finger towrds his room, I had him come sit on my lap. i gave him a hug and thought of you hugging your daughter that way too).
Comment by Sandralee on July 24, 2011 at 1:16am
Dear Sandra, there are no words that I can say at a time like this that will help you feel better so I will tell you that my thoughts are with you and just try to be strong even if it is only for just one more day and then one more day.  Cherish the memories that you have of her and remember that her life was not in vain. She obviously touched a lot of people but most of all her wonderful, normal mom.  You have been blessed in yet another way Sandra because you now have a gueadian angel to look over you each and every day. What a wonderful gift.

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