On 5/28/14,my life changed forever.My brother,54 yrs.old,married w/2 children went missing and his body found in a lake three days later,presumably drowned.It is hard to believe that my brother is no longer here and will not be in my life anymore.So many unanswered questions that will haunt me for the rest of my life.here with us in our lives...and then gone forever.They say time heals all wounds,but does it really.I don't think so,with my brother no longer here,there will always be a sadness and emptiness in my life and my heart.So,this is what brings me here.A place I can express my feelings and find support with others.

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Comment by Melinda CANDACE Guinn on January 15, 2018 at 5:28pm

Whomever said, time heals all wounds, is an absolute idiot. I can attest to the fact that it does NOT. My Grandma Billie passed 1/01/75 when I was 17. It's tremendously easier now but in NO way did it HEAL MY WOUNDS!!! At my age I've been dealt too many deaths. (I'm 60) The hardest was my first, my Grandma. The worst was my daughter who left less than two mos. after she turned 30! Then my younger brother 9/22/14!! Makes me think "the other side" will be a good place to be if I can just go quietly in my sleep. I'm not scared to die because there will be so many faces I can't wait to see again; I don't want the pain.

Comment by K. V. Kessler on January 15, 2018 at 3:22pm

So sorry to read about the loss of your brother elyse. I think you're right that there will always be a sense of emptiness for the missing loved one that is always there even when the others 'move on' and continue living, the sorrow stays in the heart forever. It is supposed to be there, it is part of the teachings of life and death, no matter what the medical industry says, it is not true, we do not 'get over' deaths; they are permanent, and they are meant to teach us lessons and remind us that our time is coming also, and so what do we want to do with the rest of our own lives?! Without death, it is difficult to learn so many lessons about life, and the key is the put the lessons into practice; that is the way to "thank" the dead for the gifts they gave to us in their lives.

Comment by Melinda CANDACE Guinn on September 25, 2016 at 7:18pm

It took 40 yrs to NOT feel that gut wrenching pain in my gut when Iost my Grandma Billie at 17.  I lost my lil' bro Doug on 9/22/14. He would've turned 55 on 11/13. He has one child, a daughter in college, studying  to be a doctor. Death is the enemy. The deeper my love is, the deeper the pain. The ultimate was when my only child passed, less than two months after she turned 30. Her and her husband were raising their three little girls, 8, 7 and 2. Her Spirit came to me!! I KNOW there's life after death! Please believe in a Higher Power. They're ALL fine and we WILL be reunited! It's so hard to deal with this sadness though. :(

Comment by Barbara Rieger on September 25, 2016 at 12:16am

Diamond, I lost my only sibling Richie in 1995 just 4 years after our dad. Then in 2010 my only child Joe was killed by a drunk driver who walks free. My mother passed 4 years ago this November. I understand exactly what your posted about your brother. You're right about everything you said the pain deep and lasting. Life changes forever. I too have spiritual belief and faith. Thank you for mentioning John and promise.


Comment by Diamond on September 24, 2016 at 8:07pm

Elyse, So sorry for your lost.  I lost my brother back in 1992 - I truly understand your pain.  My brother was found in his vehicle by my sister.  It was more then what the family could handle.  The pain was deep and lasting.  I often wondered why - as well.  He was so giving and loving.  You never forget them - they will always be near and dear to your heart.  Yes, you will eventually have good days and then some sad days.  But - just know that it is normal.  That was your brother and you had so much love for him.  I miss my brother very much - I have not met anyone like him.  He was unique and fun loving.  But, I do have a spiritual belief and know that one day the promise give at John 5:28,29 will be fulfilled.  So, I hold onto that hope and know that I will soon see him again.   If you could just believe the promise given to us in the Bible it will let you see this is all just temporary and then our love ones will be united with us again.

Comment by Linda Westbury on March 8, 2016 at 10:10am

I am so sorry, Elyse!  Someday we'll have all the answers.  But not now!  I hope your memorial brings you some comfort.  I also hope spending time with your brother's  family helps you and them.  Prayers for G-d's comfort and His Peace which transcends all understanding!   

Comment by Barbara Rieger on December 31, 2015 at 9:54am

Dear Elyse,

Please accept my sincere condolences. I too lost my brother and my only sibling when he was 51 1/2 years old from a heart attack 20 years ago this November 2015. He had a wife and 3 young children. I understand and can tell you my life changed. It is very raw in the beginning and cried my eyes out. It's so many years ago and still feel that had he been here things would not be as they are now. I also lost my only child my son Joe due to a drunk driver. My poor mother lost so many people and it was devastating for her to lose her son then first grandson that lived and took care of her. My husband and I still reminisce about the 3 and my father too around Christmas time when would always ask my husband "Did you see my tree." And then we laugh he was a character. I don't know how old you are or if you have a partner in life. It's good to express your feelings and I found what I need at times. Yet I felt that I needed even more. I attended a bereavement group but dropped out because a woman who came due to the loss of her second husband talked about her son who was an alcoholic and she enabled him. Then once again I found another group when I was browsing through the community newspapers. Then, I attended a good group sponsored by the church my son received his first holy communion and confirmation. Sending you my warmest regards that you can attend something comforting in your community. I am a member on legacy for loss of a child, but made a blunder and re-registered for loss of parents, and loss of a sibling. So if you feel that you want to chat just click on my name here and so I may see the message on latest conversations.

Comment by T.C. Goodwin on December 31, 2015 at 8:00am

Elyse ,

I am so sorry about your brother. A distant relative of my husband was found in a pool dead. He was a lot younger. They were thinking suicide. There are a few different communities you can join (Lost of a sibling for ex)and I hope you gain comfort from this site and it may help you endure your pain . We grieve with you today. - 2 Cor 1:3,4

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