It’s hard not to think about my mom on Mother’s Day but this year, it would be impossible. Not only is it the day of the year that we honor our mothers but this year, Mother’s Day falls on my birthday, so it’s the day my mother gave birth to me.

So how am I remembering my mom? Lately, I’ve been thinking about her wisdom. How wise she was and what wonderful advice she gave. When I had a problem, she listened. In my younger days, she had a habit of telling me what to do and was disappointed when I didn’t follow her suggestions. But the older I got, the more inclined I was to listen. Now, I would be happy to hear anything and everything she had to say.

One of the things that I make a point of doing is replaying my mother’s messages. She often said, “Things have a way of working out,” and I find that they most often do; maybe not exactly as we hoped, but they do work out. When I find myself in a tough spot, this is the message I think of and it always gives me hope.


Another one of her pearls was, “Something good comes from everything. Even in the worst of situations, something positive happens.” When I find myself stuck in an untenable situation, this is the message I replay. I’m not sure if I find myself looking for the hidden message or it just invariably presents itself but I find my mother is correct. Even in the most difficult of times, something good comes through. Maybe the acquaintance that steps up and takes the place of a friend or the new connections I make. Or I just may become wiser and it becomes harder to ruffle my feathers.


The sagest advice my mother gave was the old adage; “Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold.” Her friendships enriched her life and she was an amazing role model in the relationships she continually made and the ones she retained. In doing so she taught me the importance of developing and nurturing relationships and it is this advice that has truly enhanced my life.


So on this Mother’s Day/Birthday, I will reflect on the string of pearls my mother gave me; not the ones I wear around my neck but the pearls of wisdom that continue to shape my life even though my dear mom is no longer with me.


Robbie Miller Kaplan is an author who writes from a unique perspective as a mother who has lost two children. She has written How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say, a guide to help readers communicate effectively when those they care about experience loss, now available in three individual volumes: "Illness & Death," "Suicide" and "Miscarriage." Additional titles are available as e-books: "Death of a Child," "Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby," "Pet Loss," "Caregiver Responsibilities," "Divorce" and "Job Loss." All titles are in Amazon's Kindle StoreClick here to order.



Image: Flickr Creative Commons/Christina Ann VanMeter

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