I'm so glad I found this blog/support site. Maybe for the first time I will feel like someone knows the pain. About a month ago my two older brothers got into an argument, which then escalated into a wresting match, and ultimately the death of my oldest brother. My brother was my best friend and the only family member that I could really talk to. My father passed about 3 years ago within a month of being diagnosed with cancer. My father was abusive to everyone in my family including myself. Now my living brother has suicidal ideation because of the guilt he has. Not to mention a pending trial just one phone call away. I honestly can't even continue this blog. Just typing a tab bit of what is going on makes me feel hopeless and like a freak show.