My daughter Tiffany passed away 4 weeks and 3 days ago. I still can't believe that this happened and that she is gone. I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Everything I do and see reminds m…

My daughter Tiffany passed away 4 weeks and 3 days ago. I still can't believe that this happened and that she is gone. I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Everything I do and see reminds me of her. When I am alone I do nothing but cry. I go into stores where there are things that remind me that she isn't here, like kid's things, it reminds me that I won't ever have the opportunity to help her name a baby, I won't have the opportunity to cradle my grandchild, her child in my arms. I read the posts on this site and struggle with everyone's pain and really don't want to be a part of a group for grieving parents. This means that I am one also and I don't want to be! I want my daughter back, I want to go back 4 weeks and 3 days ago and do things differently. I know that I will get through this, simply because there is no choice. My family tells me how strong I am, I certainly don't feel that these days. Does it ever get easier, does the pain ever lessen, I just can't imagine that it ever will.

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Comment by Brenda on January 23, 2011 at 3:41am
Francine I know how you feel as I do the same things as you. I'm so sorry for your pain. I wish none of us had to share this awful pain. Every where I go or look I'm reminded of my daughter Bronda. She was 23 years old when she had a car accident. I go to bed thinking about and get up thinking about her. I sleep with a lamb she use to sleep with and I have a pic of her under my pillow. We had her cremated and I have a charm with some of her ashes in it I go to sleep holding that charm every night. I kiss her pic then it and hug her lamb. Bronda got killed July 12, 2009. I feel as though I take 3 steps forward and 2 back. The pain is as bad now as the day the THP came to the door to tell us she was in a car accident. The worse day of my life. I sometimes think she is just going to walk threw the door but I know that will never happen, I want to wake up from this nightmare as we all do. People are always telling me that time heals well when does it start??? I feel as though I'm going nuts and no one understands me. Sometimes I just want to go some place and scream and scream till I can't scream any more. If I'm going threw this I can only imagine what my husband is going threw as Bronda was his only child. She was his little girl. We talk but men just don't talk like women do or most men don't.  I'm rambling on here but if you ever need or want to talk I'm here for you. I sent you a friend invite. May God give us all the strength to make it through this as we must go on.   Brenda
Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on January 21, 2011 at 9:44am

Francine - I hope you are doing well (as well as can be expected).  One year after my loss I can now see that the first 6 - 8 months are nothing but shock and disbelief.  That slowly wears off, but the pain and sadness and unbearable loss remain.  Know that we are here if you every need to talk.

JoAnn

Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on January 21, 2011 at 9:44am

Francine - I hope you are doing well (as well as can be expected).  One year after my loss I can now see that the first 6 - 8 months are nothing but shock and disbelief.  That slowly wears off, but the pain and sadness and unbearable loss remain.  Know that we are here if you every need to talk.

JoAnn

Comment by Angela Hodges on October 31, 2010 at 9:54pm
Sorry for your loss, I know that grief and the feelings of helplessness can seem unbearable. I found that at such times the best help is looking into God's word for comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4

Sincerely, Angela
Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on October 29, 2010 at 8:27am
I know what you mean about people telling me I am strong. I am not. And I would do anything to do things differently on that day.
Comment by Tami on October 26, 2010 at 12:12pm
Im so sorry Francine, I will hold you in my prayers, praying for strength. It does get a little softer, Im in my 16th month, I have my moments where it is unbearable, but as soon as I can cry and get that heavy saddness out I feel a little lighter. Hugs to you,

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