My wife and I moved out to BC in 2007 so I could take a new job.  That's where and when I met Denise.

Now, I'm going to be up-front here.  My marriage has been rocky for years, and I probably never should have gotten married to my wife in the first place.  So, having said that...

Denise and I started what would commonly be called an "affair", but it grew into so much more.  My wife did strongly suspect, and it almost tore what remained of the marriage apart.  At the end of 2008, I lost my job, and my wife and I made the decision to move back east.  Denise was always more mature, and I knew she'd be better able to take my leaving than my wife would.

After I left, we kept in contact, kept telling each other we loved each other.  She started up with a new guy, and I didn't blame her - after all, I was 4000 km away.  Then she got sick - her breast cancer returned with a vengeance (she'd previously had a battle with cancer before I knew her, back in 2001, which left her scarred but unbowed).

On December 28th, 2011, Denise passed away.  I know now that it was a mistake for me to leave her, and it just tears me up inside.  But there's nothing I can do, nothing I can say, to make this feel any better.  And I can't even mourn properly, because ours was an affair, not "legitimate" love in the eyes of society.  I have to hide my mourning, hide my grief and sorrow, and let it out a bit at a time when nobody's around.

Pursue love while you can, wherever you can, and damn anyone who tells you differently.

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