Two years ago, someone went into my son' home as he came in from work ad murdered him. I have been to counseling. I have seen a psychiatrist. I am a avid church goer, but I can't let him go.  am so troubled and in so much pain. I am very depressed and  While I don't contemplate suicide, I don't have the will to live anymore. I have another son,older and grandchildren,but my heart is too broken to even think of them. I pray and now I am tired of praying.And I am tired of talking to people and smiling when I don't feel like smiling I just want this hollow pain to leave.