On May 25, 1983. I gave birth to my first child William Matthew Allen AKA Matt. On Feb. 13, 1988 he spent the night with my parents and the house caught on fire. With the layout of the house the fire was between the two sections and my parents went out their back door trying to get in hi window but the fire had already consumed the house. It took them 6 hours to find his body and I was never allowed to see my baby to tell him goodbye.He was a joy to everyone whe knew him and at the age of 4 had spread more love then some do in a lifetime. I was pregnant with my next son and spent 6 weeks in bed for I had startes to hemmorag and they were afraid I was going to loose Davey. Matt was so excited and said if he had a little brother he was gonna name him Davy Crockettso on August 19,1988 we welcomed Davey Crockett Allen into the world. he. He helped me so much for their father was in a very angry state he couldnt seem to shake. I wrapped my workd around davey and when I went back for my 6 week checkup I was pregnant again with twins!!!On July 9, 1989 we welcomed into the world Jamey and Cody. My kids were the light of my life and brought me so much Joy.My husband kept getting worse and refused help and on May, 27, 1992 my husband shot and killed my father and then shot himself. I was left with 1 year old twins and a 2 year old. Later my high school sweetheart came back into my life and and we were married in 1993. In 1995David Phillips adopted Davey Jamey and Cody and with his 3 children Amanda, Ashley and David we became a family with 2 4yr old, 3 three yr olds and a 2 yr old! Very busy. With my bittersweet memories my life was holding joy again and I was happy again! we have had a wonderful life and my kids had brought me so much sunshine! in 1997 we welcomed Jessica ( named after my father) into our family. My family was complete but I was very overprotective and the kids fought me on that tooth and nail! They always found dangerous things to get into and we made several trips to the ER for broken bones and stitches, the 4 boys were by all means all boy.lol.On August 31,2010 we welcomed our first granddaughter Adalyn from our oldest Amanda Then just when you think you have reached your happiest, wham, we lost Cody Feb. 13, 2011. My husband and children have been great. We have all supported  each other just we are scattered out all over now. 2 weeks after Codys death we welcomed our 2nd grandchild, our first grandson Matthew Robert Phillips into our fold and those feelings were so bittersweet. We were all looking forward to his birth especially Cody looking forward to being an Uncle to his twin brothers son. So we call Matty our little ray of sunshine and we know that cody and Matt got to meet him first.Amanda our oldest is in North Carolina married to a Marine. Davey is in Hawaii with the United States Marine Corps gettin ready to deploy to afganistan in the next couple of weeks. Jamey(Codys twin) is in New York with his fiancee and baby Matty. Ashly and David live about 30 miles away with their mother, and Jessica the baby at 14 is still at home .Thank God for cell phones and internet!! and I guess that brings us to date. We are going into our 3rd month without cody and draw on each others strength. The best way I can honor my children in to smile and find happiness for that is how they lived their lives.So I wake up every morning and try to smile and find joy in one thing even if it is just a memory. I will never be the same and a piece of my heart will always be empty, but I have learned through my trials I dont think there is anything in this world can give me that I cant handle. and dont judge anyone till you walk in their shoes

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Comment by Tami on May 25, 2011 at 12:25pm
Gina, wow, I am so sorry for all that you have been through, I have to look to you for strength, I lost my 18 year old son in a motorcycle accident almost 2 years ago. I came on here to wish Matt a Heavenly Birthday and just now read your entire story. I too try to wake up every day and make something positive of it, it is hard but it is possible. Now that I have read your story I am going to try even harder. We will all be together once again and that give me hope and happiness. much love to you and you and your family are in my prayers...
Comment by Kathy on May 25, 2011 at 11:29am

Dear Gina,

I don't post often, but I always read what others post.  The loss of two of your beloved sons resonates with me.  I have 4 children, Vinnie, Andrew, Matthew and Arianna.  In 1996, my beautiful firstborn son, Little Vinnie, died as a result of an overdose at the age of 17.  My world and heart were torn into shreds.  I didn't know how to survive without him.  But I did.  In 2004, my beautiful secondborn son, Andrew was murdered in a case of mistaken identity at the age of 18. Again, heart and world torn I have worked so hard at finding peace in my world.  My two surviving children, Matt and Arianna, have struggled with these deaths.  It has been a roller coaster of emotions for all of us.  I had to remove people from my life (even my own family).  While I recognized they had their own pain, they did not recognize mine.  Instead they blamed me for my sons' deaths and added so much toxicity to my life that my only option was to cease all contact with them.  My world is much calmer without all the negativity.  My children and I are in an amazing place emotionally, with ourselves and each other.  This is through grief therapy, faith and prayer. I want to tell you how sorry I am for your pain and loss and if you ever want to talk, please feel free to contact me either on Facebook, through this site or by phone.  My # is 267-975-7241.  If not, I certainly understand that your life is very busy, but always know that another mom shares your pain in the loss of two of her sons. Congratulations on the new grandbabies.  What a blessing it truly is.  Kathy  :)

Comment by Lisa Hobrook on April 29, 2011 at 7:34am

Gina, The love you have for your family shines through to me as I read.  I am so sorry for the losses in your life especially the loss of your boys.

 

In the 19 months since I lost my Chad I find the love has not gone out of my life but the joy has.  I miss my boy.  I miss the love of my life.  I miss his laughter, his smile, his advice, his sense of humour, his humbleness, his strength, his ability to light up a room.  I just miss him.

 

I read your losses and it pierces my heart.  If you would like to read about my Chaddy, you can at www.chadarthurholbrook.com.

 

And, yes, never judge someone if you haven't walked in their shoes.

 

Lisa

 

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