It's been five years since Scott went away. I can't tell you'll how much I love him, I go crazy at times and cry and throw things. I drink too much, I went to the doctor and she wanted to put me in Our Lady of Peace because I cried in her office. I can't keep a job because I can't concentrate sometimes on what I should be doing. Just tell me how should a mother act who lost a son . Put it on the back burner and go about your way, should I put all his pictures away so I can't see his face then maybe I will forget, I can't do any of that. God gave me this pain and I will feel this pain everyday. I hate it when people say ( do you think Scott would want you to be like this ) I know Scott would know how I would act when I got that call and I went to the hospital to be told he had died from an accident at work. All the talking and pills in the world won't take this pain away.