I lost my 19 year old son, Kyle on Sunday June 20, 2010, This is the first time I found the courage to write this much, I'm scared so scared and not sure why. Why is it so hard to look at his pictures? Is it normal to think this is not real? I'm still waiting for him to call text or walk through the door ans tell me all is ok.....

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Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on December 9, 2010 at 8:03am
Hi Jane - I lost my 24 year old son, Tyler, on January 26, 2010. He was my only child. I have gone through the same feelings you have. Scared, just terrified, and it was probably about 5 months or so after his passing. I still can't look at his pictures, that is why one is not posted here. His pictures are everywhere - they always have been. I don't want to take them down, but when I walk by I have to divert my eyes. It took until just recently for me to sort of realize he won't be coming back. My husband came home on day during the summer and I yelled at him that he wasn't trying hard enough - if we both tried harder we could bring him back. He just looked at me with such pity! I can't believe that he won't be back. I do a lot of yelling, screaming and crying in the car. I pity the other drivers on the road around me. But I need to get it out every day and I can't do it at work and try not to do it in front of my husband - he is grieving so much differently than I am. If you keep coming to this site, or go to a bereavement group, it might be comforting. It is to me. I think that is because only someone who has experienced this kind of loss can fully understand.
Keep in touch
JoAnn
Always Tyler's Mom
Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on December 9, 2010 at 8:03am
Hi Jane - I lost my 24 year old son, Tyler, on January 26, 2010. He was my only child. I have gone through the same feelings you have. Scared, just terrified, and it was probably about 5 months or so after his passing. I still can't look at his pictures, that is why one is not posted here. His pictures are everywhere - they always have been. I don't want to take them down, but when I walk by I have to divert my eyes. It took until just recently for me to sort of realize he won't be coming back. My husband came home on day during the summer and I yelled at him that he wasn't trying hard enough - if we both tried harder we could bring him back. He just looked at me with such pity! I can't believe that he won't be back. I do a lot of yelling, screaming and crying in the car. I pity the other drivers on the road around me. But I need to get it out every day and I can't do it at work and try not to do it in front of my husband - he is grieving so much differently than I am. If you keep coming to this site, or go to a bereavement group, it might be comforting. It is to me. I think that is because only someone who has experienced this kind of loss can fully understand.
Keep in touch
JoAnn
Always Tyler's Mom
Comment by Janet - Todd's Mom on November 25, 2010 at 8:09am
Hi Jane, I lost my son on June 8, 2009 and remember feeling terrified, panicky and anxious most of the time. I still do, but not all of the time. Yes, it is normal to think that this is not real. I still can't believe it, my healthy son died from pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome, after being sick for only 12 days. On the 3rd day, he went to his doctor. She didn't take him seriously, dismissed him with the comment, "you're not that sick and don't have pneumonia or the flu". No tests, no x-rays. He was rushed to the hospital 4 days later and died in the ICU 5 days later. We still can't believe it. How can this be? He was the youngest member of our family. My parents are still living in their own home and doing everything for themselves at ages 90 & 95. This probably hasn't helped you, but I wanted to let you know that your feelings are normal, at least in the world I now live in. Let me know how you are doing. Today is Thanksgiving and I feel so sad, so very very sad. He was a wonderful person, fantastic son, brother, friend and Godfather to his best friend's two little boys. Hugs.

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