I noticed for the first time since my Peter left that I know longer wake up crying. My heart still feels like it's being yanked out of my body. I no longer cry but I still cannot get up in the morning. I'm late for work everyday. Thank God I have a compassionate employer. Each day I put on a happy face so my children won't worry but it isn't getting any better. My life consist of work and home. I'll be retiring from work in a few months. I just can't do it anymore. I don't return friends calls, or invitiations. I have only attended church 2 times in the 15 months because the memories are too much. I remember the last time I was there for his funeral. I'm writing this post in hopes that someone can relate to this and help me understand. I tried therapy, taking anti-depression medicine and I still feel empy. Thank you to the site. It is nice just to have a place to vent and not feel judged.