This is Leah my second child of three.  She would have been seventeen on May 22, 2011 but her life ended to early due to mental illness.  My other two children Michael and Elena have been wonderful they have supported me when I really needed it.  My wife Carol has been the foundation and backbone of our family since losing Leah.  I on the other hand have been pretty much a basket case. Suffering from PTSD from finding Leah and the immense guilt of feeling responsible for loosing her, a father is supposed to protect and I feel as though I failed.

  Its been six months since Leah's  passing my family and I have been through counseling from the start and assorted meds to get the anxiety and depression under control. They appear to be moving on while I am languishing in despair. My hearts been shattered and so far nothing has helped.  

  So as this is my first post and I really am not a writer please don't think  that I am whining, I am just trying to vent.  My next post will be some background on Leah.