I lost my husband on July 16, 2011.  He was only 54 years old and his death was totally unexpected.  He suffered a massive heart attack as I was driving him to the emergency room, and I watched him die as a Lorain police officer and EMT's tried desperately to save his life in the parking lot of Century Park.   His loss and the trauma of watching everything unfold has been more than I can bear at times. because I relive it every day.  Everyone tells me that time will heal my pain, but it has been 18 months and the pain is still as strong as it was on 7/16.  I watch as everyone else goes on with their lives, while my world has stopped.  The person I thought I would grow old with is gone, and I am faced with a future alone.  I am now a "single" in a world full of couples, and I don't know where I belong.  I try to be strong for my adult children who are grieving the loss of their father, but losing a father doesn't come close to comparing with the loss of your partner for life. 

Has anyone found any support groups that really helped, one that you can recommend?  I tried to go back to church, but after 2 attempts I stopped because all I could see was my husband's coffin being brought down the center aisle.  I'm not Catholic, but my husband was and their community has been very considerate of my loss. 

Any suggestions at this point would be greatly appreciated. 

Randi

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