I was struggling with something on Saturday, debating whether or not it should remain in my life. It was one of those times where I couldn’t figure out on my own which way it should go. While I believe that faith is essential for us to trust the unknown journey ahead, I needed reassurance about something. When I went to church that evening, I asked for that help. I wasn’t sure what kind of sign I would get to let me know how to move forward but I asked anyway.
About an hour after I arrived home from church, I took my dog Hattie for a walk. I often find coins so as I set off on the walk, I asked that I find a coin if I am to keep this thing in my life. If there were no coin, I would know it was time to let it go. Honestly, I fully expected to have to let it go. I also knew in my mind that for this particular thing, it would be easier to let it go than to keep it in my life. Further along the path it would reward me by remaining in my life, but for now it would be somewhat difficult on some days.
As Hattie and I walked along the quiet neighborhood streets at dusk in Albuquerque, I looked ahead to see not one shiny item in the paved street but many. There were 16 coins total. That’s right, 16 coins! Dimes, nickels, and two pennies. I picked them all up in disbelief, grasping them in my hand the entire way home, occasionally looking at them and smiling at the reality of what I had just found. If this wasn’t a clear sign for me to keep this thing in my life, I don’t know what is.
As I said thank you for the coins when I found them, I also asked for help on this difficult road ahead. I know the coins are my reminder of what I’m supposed to do. They’re sitting here on my desk until I find a pouch where I can keep them, a place where I can reach for them to be reminded of an answered prayer.
Michelle Linn-Gust, Ph.D., is an international author and speaker about finding hope after loss and change. She is the author of several books including Rocky Roads: The Journeys of Families through Suicide Grief and Ginger's Gift: Hope and Healing Through Dog Companionship. Her first book, based on the suicide of her younger sister Denise, Do They Have Bad Days in Heaven? Surviving the Suicide Loss of a Si..., inspired siblings around the world in their survival after a loved one’s suicide. She is the President of the American Association of Suicidology and lives in Albuquerque, N.M. Read more about Michelle at www.michellelinngust.com.