Well its been 5.5 months and this past week i cannot seem to find a way out of my pain. I had a realization that my brother is not coming back. EVER,. I then started to think that if his soul reincarnates then he is gone from me forever and it makes me insane. My heart is so broken. I miss him so much. Loggin on here and seeing the pain is the only place that feels like im truly not alone in agony. I know he is free and not suffering, but i am now. Still wondering what the meaning of life is anyway. Hoe long does this gut wrenching pain last ?