This emptiness/pain is undescribable. A few wks back my very healthy mother aged 66 died of a massive heart attack.I will never forget the thud on the floor followed by my brothers plea for help. She had just popped into his bedroom as he was up watching tennis and had asked how Murray was doing only 30 seconds later she fell out of the bed. We tried to revive her until the paramedics came they shocked her 3 times but still no good. This is new territory one of unbareable pain and panic. Just miss her so much she was our best friend. Despite being part of The Church of Scotland all her life she feared death and alzeihmers (both sisters and mother passed from alzeihmers related diseases) So mum was spared her biggest fears but the prospect of never seeing her again on earth fills me with fear and overwhelming sadness. She was beginning to do things that didnt revolve around us all, feel mum was cheated of joy on earth she gave gave gave all her life. No sides, always the same so loving and giving.