It's been 2 years and four months since I laid you to rest, Jaret. As all my friends here know from their own journeys of loss, not a day does not pass where you are not on my mind. I sleep in your bed with your blanket wrapped around me, when I wake, I wonder if you hear me snore. I love you so much son, I am surprised to still be here after all the pain and loss you're leaving left us with. I look at your pictures everyday, my screens are covered with the memories of you, and seeing your face the first thing in the morning puts a smile on my face. I love you.
When you first left, I was so worried that each passing day would dim my memories. I surrounded myself with digital reminders of our love, of your beauty and your smile. I thought irrationally as it seems, that what my mind might forget, my computer never would. I keep the same reminders of our time together on my computer at work, my home computer, my laptop. When I think of you, I scroll through my images and it quietly comforts me in a way that I can't get by just remembering. I believe the computer gives me something to feel, to touch and to connect with in a physical way that passing memories do not.
I gave so little thought to the reliability of my technological solution. So when my home and work computer crashed on the same day, and I lost all my digital photos of you so abruptly, it was not all dissimilar to your accident. One moment you were here, the next you were gone. Lesson learned, find a better way to back up my memories!!! Thankfully, my friend is a technology wizard and he was able to pluck your pictures from my failed hard drives.
I realized that even though my computer might fail, my love will never. I will forever remember your nose, your eyes, your hair your hugs and kisses. Wherever you are, please know how much I love you and miss you! See you soon Jaret! I love you.