Its been 10 long months, and I still cry at the drop of a hat. I don't think I will ever be able to go inside of a Toys R Us again. I have gotten better about it all though. I can talk about you without crying...sometimes. I really needed you on Saturday. But I made it. One day at a time. Just keep moving. I have taken on so much work and volunteering that no one knows how I manage. I still can't sleep without dreaming something terrible. Last night, dad killed himself in my dream. He is not ok still, I think he is taking it the hardest because you two were so close, and he doesn't want to lean on me because he knows that I am not ok. You were the keystone to our family, without you we don't know how to live. Keep us protected...I get more worried about dad the closer we get to October 5. I love and miss you.
So much love,