Tomorrow, November 6, 2010, Joel will be gone six months and I am feeling depressed again. It has been awhile since I have been on here. I have been trying my best to get on with my life. I plan on signing up for a course in creative writing at the local college. I painted all the way through the apartment with the help of my son. I have also full filled all of my husbands requests before he passed away. His clothes have all gone to the local Good Will, all the files in the filing cabinet have been gone through and a lot of un-needed paperwork was shredded as he asked. The only things that haven't changed are the long, long nights without him and the deep loneliness that I feel as I sit here unable to go to sleep. Thanksgiving is coming up, another holiday without him. I plan on making a pumpking pie in his memory. That was his favorite kind of pie. I will give it to one of our neighbors because I know that he would have wanted me to. At times it seems like just yesterday that he left me and still at other times it feels like it has been a million years. I am still going to see a therapist and also a phsyciatrist for my depression. My medifations have been increased and they do help me to cope most of the time. My son, his wife and children moved back to New York and I am completely alone now.