You’ve heard it before: It is important to make contact with the bereaved and acknowledge their loss. And yet many people stay away, fearing they will say the wrong thing – and, their fears are well-founded. The bereaved frequently share hurtful things friends and loved ones tell them while mourning their loss.
What not to say:
What to say:
If you stick to the basics you won’t have to avoid the bereaved. Just acknowledge the loss and listen. It’s that simple.
Robbie Miller Kaplan is an author who writes from a unique perspective as a mother who has lost two children. She has written How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say, a guide to help readers communicate effectively when those they care about experience loss, now at a reduced price for e-books for "Illness & Death," "Suicide," "Miscarriage," "Death of a Child," "Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby," "Pet Loss," "Caregiver Responsibilities," "Divorce" and "Job Loss." All titles are in Amazon's Kindle Store.
So True. I have had some of those comments said to me. I hate when they say "well at least he's not suffering anymore" as if it helps my pain. My husband wanted to end his suffering by getting well not by dying. Right now it's "how are you doing" mostly by co-workers. I don't wish to discuss how I'm doing so I just say fine. On the positive side, at least I know what not to say to people going forward.
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