When memorial donations are not acknowledged

Memorial donations are a way to honor the memory of the deceased. Sometimes, the family of the deceased chooses the organizations and they’re noted in the obituary or funeral announcement. Individuals also choose organizations themselves; most often ones they think might be meaningful to the bereaved family.

Memorial donations are usually acknowledged. Sometimes with a note and short message of appreciation; other times, the bereaved might use the note as a cathartic expression, sharing memories and stories of their loved one.

But what if you made a donation and it’s not acknowledged? Can you be certain that the bereaved was notified that you made a donation? Do you let it go or, do you get in touch to make sure the organization communicated with the bereaved?

There are times when the bereaved just can’t write the notes and acknowledge the donations. One widow shared,”I sat at the kitchen table each morning with a goal to write five notes. I found myself in tears every day. Finally, I realized I just couldn’t do it and gave up.”

When you make a donation, you do so because you want to honor and remember the deceased. The donation in and of itself serves that purpose. If your donation is not acknowledged, you can check with the organization to ensure that they notified the bereaved. If they never did notify, you might ask that they contact the bereaved to make them aware of your donation. If they did notify, you might want to let it go; the bereaved might not be up to writing acknowledgements, or, they might plan to do so at a later date.



Robbie Miller Kaplan is an author who writes from a unique perspective as a mother who has lost two children. She has written How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say, a guide to help readers communicate effectively when those they care about experience loss, now available in three individual volumes: "Illness & Death," "Suicide" and "Miscarriage." Additional titles are available as e-books: "Death of a Child," "Death of a Stillborn or Newborn Baby," "Pet Loss," "Caregiver Responsibilities," "Divorce" and "Job Loss." All titles are in Amazon's Kindle StoreClick here to order.


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