Hi Cheryl, your story is so heartbreaking. It just blows my mind that there are such heartless people in this world. My sons birthday is April 6th and he would be 32. I am not dealing with all of this well at all. Having anxiety attacks and all I do is cry uncontrollably. My family try to be there for me but they just dont get it. Your absolutely right losing a child is the ultimate heartbreaking ordeal and with the circumstances in which our loved ones makes the grieving process so much more difficult. I have not seen my sons wife since the memorial and like you I really dont know how I will react when I do. I put the song " I Pray For You" on facebook dedicated it to her. The song says it all like , I hope  you lose your brakes going down a hill, I hope your birthday comes and nobody cares. Each lyric has a meaning and relates how I feel about her. I cant help but feel cheated and I blame her and her lover for my loss. Its nice to know I am not alone.

Hi Cheryl thanks for writing. we lost our beautiful children this last year the worst year in my life. i am still grieving... i was in shock when it first happened. It has sunk in now and my mind works on it and is sad about it every day. the tv bothers me going out bothers me. babies bother me. Oh how i would go back. like those two movies i saw this year. the hot tub comedy one and the prince of something. Both movies were about death a little the one brought them back to life. Oh what a fortune someone would make. they talk about a cure for cancer.  Death is not like that. My son was so young ... It is so sad. and i know a lot of people on here think sad people   bring them down ... well way back when i was still in shock. i wasn't as sad. and perhaps as the years go by i will slowly regain some composure. and i don't cry everyday. but alone and mornings..... i wish i could talk to him. carrieL

Hi Cheryl, I live with a broken heart too, that's a part of who I am now. I'm trying to figure out how I can live life without my son. He was so much a part of who I was/am. It's just going to be a different life without him. Like you, I've been praying for a sign that Cameron is somewhere. I've been asking God and Cameron to show me a sign. I got a letter in the mail last month from Cameron. He had written it in his junior year of high school as a class project and the teacher mailed them out this new years.  You can imagine my shock when I looked in the mail box and saw a letter from my son.  I thought I'd have a heart attack.  The letter was what he thought his life would be like in 5 years (which would have been now). It broke my heart. 

Have you had any signs from your son? I'm figuring out that we have to be super aware and open to receiving them, otherwise we will miss them.

 

Thanks Cheryl. My struggle gets a little better each day - maybe different...but I am smiling - I even caught my self laughing at something - that was the "old" me. James was the same way - he was always smiling and laughing. I love him more then life...miss him more then life...and each day I know that I am one day closer to being with him...until then I will live my life in a way that would make him happy! Not easy, but I've got to try. I know there will be days that overcome me but I will pray and ask for God's mercy and peace...He is faithful and will supply it and I will arise victorious in this fight. NOT EASY...but doable! WIll be praying for you also...Susan

Dearest Cheryl,
I am so sorry about the loss of your precious son. I too lost my son Chase age 21 on February 6, 2010 to an accidental heroin overdose. He too was doing so well and then he called a friend and just wanted to use one more time, he was alone when he used and was found a day and half later. Please check out his Memorial website to read his story at www.mitchellchasejones.com

You are not alone my friend as we all are going through the same loss, hurt, pain and sorrow. I pray that God will surround you with His comfort and peace to help you get through each a every day. I am sending you a big hug today, may God be with you during this difficult time.

Annette Walters
Johns Creek, GA
annettemwalters@yahoo.com

Thank you for writing to me. This blog thing is new to me , actually so is using a computer so I'm slow. This is such a hard thing to go through, but what has happened has happened and we can not take blame. Our son was loved and he knew it. I would give anything to see him again. Michelle

Hi cheryl are you doing ok. how is the oil spill. man that is bad. there is a special on tonight about the economy. i want to watch it it is on at 9. about people across the country ... It is bad. I am sitting at the computer but looking at the sun shining outside. My baby can't see that anymore everything I think of that. all that he can't see or feel. even the breathing. seems so trivial.He loved the outdoors. I wish I had built him a fancy tree house down at the pond where he loved. He was mad at me. I don't know I wasn't the overpampering type. But they said he was mad at everybody. I wish i could have made him happier. I just thought he was ok. I thought he was trying to avoid work and acting out on his parents. he hugged so good. and always told me he loved me. i could have done so much more. I was in my own problems and screwed up
how old was your son. mine was almost 24. seems like a critical age for young men i had no idea i looked at life through my eyes. i had morgan at 23. so i had him to love and concentraTE on. I wish he had had a child. but bringing up children is not that easy. they are on a different level than we were at that age. very different. take care sweetie. carrie L

Hi Cheryl, I lost my son Cameron may 28th, 2010 to an accidental heroin overdose. He was 21, almost 22. Our stories sound so similar that I just had to contact you. I am also a Christian but am struggling with some of the same things you are. I had sent Cameron to a rehab in March and it was there that he accepted the Lord and was baptized. After rehab he had a hard time readjusting to normal life and kept backsliding. He passed away two months after rehab. The guy he was with panicked and didn't get him help. It 's hard because I wasn't there with him. It's just too painful to go on with my story but I would love to connect and talk with you thru this web site. Please write me back. Lauree

Hi Cheryl thanks for writing. louisiana is far away kind of ... i hope you get better but i know in my heart we will never get better. and no one understands except another mom. i can't stop thinking about it. i don't cry quite as much but am on a medication that doesn't let me cry .... I don't know what to say I know there is nothing to say. somehow having someone who has gone through the same thing is helpful. just to know there is someone who understands. love to you also. carrie L

Hi cheryl. hope you are good todayhaven't heard from you lately seems a little strange talking to strangers but no one in my family has sufferred this horrible loss. so i am alone. also. thanks for writing. i enjoyed hearing about the book and the phone ring. carrie l

hi cheryl wanted to know if you were ok. it is not good for either of us. but we cannot do anything. my heart feels for you and we shed tears together everyday. hope to hear from you but it is sad I was thinking i would like to get involved in church more read the bible more though it is nice to follow along at church i think it sinks in more. want to feel better but don't think that will happen forever how could you ever get over something this horrible carrie L

Hi cheryl
gosh I am so sorry. I am heartbroken and no where to go we can't fix it just go on without them that was the way it is it is so sad.I really don't like writing on here. I have one friend and we contact eachother by phone or personal e mail. It is so horrible I know we need to talk about it but it does not make it better. carrie l

Dear cheryl. I am so sorry for your loss. the pain does not end and there are so many loose ends. i cannot even believe this is real though it is so real. i love him so much and wish i had of spent every waking moment with him the suddenness is so unfair love to you carrie L

We too are sorry for your loss. We lost our 39yr old son on Christmas morning 2009. I doubt if it ever gets "better" but the horrible horrible inner pain somehow seems to not be so bad after some months.
I do have a couple of books that really helped me through the first couple of months. One is "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" and the other is "Coming out of Grief".....
This website is so good for all of us because no matter how good our friends and family are they cannot imagine the pain we are feeling. Keep writing in and looking for ideas and support. There are now over 400 members signed up. When I signed up in January there were 364 members. Sad so many of us are out there.
Hang in there with your husband, and family.

Dear Cheryl, I am so sorry on the loss of your son.I know it is so devastating and unfair that it has happened,this site i hope will help you.My son Paul, my only child, died on Easter Sunday.March 23rd,2008,in a car accident.Paul was 23.The only thing that has brought me this far,is prayer.I believe tons of people have been praying for me,b/c he was so loved and is so missed.I think sometimes even Paul is praying too.Also i continue to go to grief share meetings.They are very helpful for me. May God Bless you and your family