O I'am so Sorry for the way your son lost his life and also lost your's
This will be a memory forever in your mine!
I buried 2 grandsons one was 18 years old and the other grandson that was 7 years old shared a room in my home,In 2002 and it seem like yesterday!
I have a daughter in a nursing home living on a feeding tube that was found in a hotel after 3 days in Sept 2002, which it will be 8 years ago, Lord it seem like yesterday, She just turned 43 years Aug 5th, 2010, she left 3 young son's behind and now 8 years later they are growing up- one of my grandson's was her;s that I buried !
This is messed up!
We are all in this together people!
My husband dies in 2003 because he refused to talk about this, he refused to do nothing but just stare at the ceiling and he had a stroke and died in 2003 of Aug
before I get into my life now about what all has happen, I need to know if they have ever lost a child!
That's my question!
If they haven't, they can't help ME,
It's not in a BOOK on how to cope with this life we ended up with!!!
I never shut-up I can't and it has been 8 years,!
If I'am not on the streets talking, I'am writing in a journal or I'am on this site!!!!
So sorry for the sad life of your son!,and how he died!
We will connect again!
Just keep on talking people, best therphy we really have, You have got to release this from the mine and if you feel people are tired of hearing you 9 Which they will) someone else will listen!
As far as My daughter that sends out the balloons, the 7 years one was her oldest son and each year She still buy her son a balloon and a birthday card and write! and send the balloonas to them both,Tina just stands in the yard and let's them go in the sky intil you can't see them any more
cheryl, my name is valerie. my son, dustys birthday, was june 28- first one since he passed last aug 28-what i did was simply have a small cake with his name on it with butterflys ,got a small plant to nurture and said a simple prayer. he would have been 26, only myself, my husband and mother in law were there. it was bittersweet. valerie
Hello Miss Cheryl,
The balloow release for my son's birthday was pretty simple. All I did was post on Facebook and Myspace and call a couple of Michael's close friends and tell them what time and place and to bring a helium balloon. It was raining a gentle summer rain(I can't remember when it EVER rained on his birthday in Texas) but all the same over 75 people showed up. We met at 7:45 p.m.at his gravesite and simply released the balloons that had Happy birthday Mike written on them in sharpie and sang Happy birthday to him. The picture in my mind of those balloons floating heavenward with his birthday wishes in them was a sight to see. Very touching.
Cheryl, It's so good to hear from you. I haven't been online a lot in the past few months. The summer has been rough for me. Too many birthdays and death days. How is your son doing? If I recall right he was having a hard time. My oldest living son told me the other day that he thinks he's ready to talk to a counselor. It's really hard for him with his mental illness. He won't talk to me and I'm sure it's because his grief is filled with anger and he doesn't want to scare me. He's actually afraid to talk to a counselor because even medicated, his thoughts are (I'm sure) for revenge. None of us even know what happened that day or who Jon was with but somehow we all think that more could have been done to help Jon. I'm mostly angry at myself for not giving his condition time to see if he would improve. All I could think was all the depression he had suffered in the past 3yrs and if he did come to, what quality of life could he have had. Seeing him lying there so peacefully made me feel like this was his chance to be Home Free. No more CP no more group homes. I know where he is and that I'll see him again but I have to admit, I've had my moments of panic where I've thought, what if God's not really there and I never get to see my boys again? I know the Lord understands. My life is far from normal but it never was in the first place. The Lord is faithful and the devil is a liar! I choose to believe. Keep in touch. You and yours will be in my prayers. Hugs,Kathy
Thanks Cheryl for your comments and sound advice which I appreciate and will take to heart. Today alone that I just registered I can see that this site is a blessing. I have not yet figured out how to post my daughter Jasmin's Pic. I also have not figured the rest of this sight out as I could not find or see Jermaines story but, I am interested in learning more about him and the circumstances of his parting. Only if you wish to share of course. You are an inspiration and a sign for me that we must overcome and continue down our path. Sincerly, Roberto
Hi Cheryl, I don't know which is worse to deal with a sibling that is emotional like your son or one's that are distant like mine are. One son, Jon's full brother, will talk about him to a point but I know he's having a rough time. I think the other two are in denial. I'll be praying for you. Blessings,Kathy
i too wish i could have taken my son to the hospital and got him some help and at least have tryed to save him. i went to sleep with 3 loving boys and woke up with 2 and did not even know it. I did not even know that he was even close to his death bed. I wish I could have told him I love him soooo much one more time. i sometimes feel that i did not do enough to help him. my heart is also very heavy it sometimes feels as though my heart is being riped out. I wish i had someone to blame for my sons death. the only one i can blame is my son john and the drug dealer who gave him the drugs. i dont know if blaming someone and having them charged with my sons death will help with my pain but sometimes i think it would help. I often wonder how people who have lost there only child do it. the only reason i get up every day is beucase i have 2 other beautiful boys to take care of.
This is what we are here for is to help each other though. It isn't easy when I think about my children who have to deal with this, also. My oldest son called me one day and said momma if the court doesn't do something what will we do. I have to tell him pray for forgiveness, so that we can heal and move on with our lifes his has 2 daughters to live for and support. He says to me but momma I cry everyday. I know it is hard but we have to be strong you have to stand my shoulders and I will have to stand yours. I will have to say it has improved the relationship with at least my other son. My daughters have been a little more distance. Theirs ages: daughters 33, 31, son 30 & Jermaine's twin sister 23. I'm here if you ever need to vent. It help me so much. I hope that everyone is Having a Blessed Day! I may not be easy, but WE will make it. I will included you in my prays.
Hi Cheryl, Thank You for the encourageing words. My heart breaks for you. I don't understand how the system could be so leanent on the man that Murdered your son. What I am doing is meeting directly with the District Attorney aboaut filing charges. The Trooper that has to file charges has been off on leave but will be back in about a month so at this point I don't know what kind of charges he is going to file if any but I have been talking to the DA about charging My Sons Dad and his Girlfriend with Wreakless Endangerment and Involentary Manslater which is If your negligence causes someone elses death weather it happened within a lawful or un-lawful act it is Involentary Manslater. It is even upsetting that his father would reject him to the point that he would leave him on a Interstate. Almost seems premedated to me. You have had a lot of losses to somehow deal with. ((((((((Cheryl-Hug)))))))) I always go back also and think of how I wish that I would have done this or that different or of course if Other people did something different. Even the Bar. I know that it was his 21st Birthday but at a .359 BAC My son was definatly WAY over served. His Dad should have Never put him in the vehicle when his condition was so Ovious and the man that hit him wasn't even watching the road. What could go wrong did and it took a combination of 3 things that all came into play to cause this tragic Nightmare that I must live and Breath. All I want is the one thing that I can Never have and that would be for My Son to return to me "Here on Earth". Right now I am only able to Thank for Xanax....
Christmas was difficult for me as well. Jon always came home for Christmas. I was very quiet that day. I sat outside and watched my granddaughter play in her new playhouse. She is my joy right now. I went to the cemetery where both of my sons are buried and cried. Made a turkey with no stuffing and mashed potatoes. Thank God no one expected any more out of me because it wouldn't have happened. I slept for awhile hoping the day would end. I've always battled depression and I have a lot of stress in my life so this is my life, at least for now. We can pray that the New Year will bring us closer to those we still have with us. Be safe my friend.
Hi Cheryl, All of your tragedy reminds me of so many songs. Music has always ministered to me so it doesn't surprise me. I don't know if you listen to contempory Christian music but there is one going through my head that we played during Jon's Celebration Service. "Held" by Natalie Grant. If you would like to hear it and watch the video, she is on youtube.www.youtube.com
natalie grant present held. (I wish I knew how to put a link in).I was able to link it on my facebook in my links section. Kathy Mook(in case you are on facebook and want to check it out.) I could go on and on with music but not everyone is into it like I am. You are truely an example of everything Jesus teaches us to be. I'll be praying for you and the other Mom. Blessing & Hugs. Kathy
Hi Cheryl, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Jermaine. Yesterday had to be so very difficult for you. I wrote a couple of poems and posted them on my page. I'm sure the 2nd one you, and everyone who comes here, can relate to. I also wanted to let you know, in case you don't know already, that on Hospice site, www.hovforum.ipbhost.com they have a group for loss of siblings or twins that may be helpful to your daughter. I believe my son is HOME FREE. He accepted Jesus into his heart and leaned on his faith a lot through the years as have I. I'd like to hear more about both of your children. My email address is on my page. I'll be praying for you as I do for everyone in this group. Blessing and Hugs in His Love, Kathy