Lorelie elkshoulder's Comments

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At 7:55am on October 12, 2012, Tami said…
Hi Lorelie, I am going way back to when I started this site and seeing how parents are coping, I hope that you are doing well.

Tami
At 7:50pm on April 10, 2011, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…

Hi Lorelie, Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I know it has been awhile since I last wrote to you, life is very busy for me which I guess is a good thing, It helps keep my mind off how very sad I am. How are you and hubby getting along? I know it is very hard when your both not on the same page and when they are not there to support you or each other for that matter. It sounds like we are going through the same journey with our  husbands.  I just read a geat book " We are they're Heaven"  It is such a comforting book, a must read book about how our loved ones are always with us and watching over us. I truly loved every page of the book.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. A really big HUG to you. Macs

At 9:24pm on February 18, 2011, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…
I know this is a crazy question, but how are you doing? I just read your comments to me and I feel so bad for you. It is an awful hard time to go through alone when you do not have support from your husband, I too feel very alone in my grief.  My husband is an alcoholic and with the passing of our son it only got worse.  This is truly the tuffest journey we will ever have to go through. Maybe we both can help each other and bring comfort to each other. I'd very much like to know more about your son, he looks like he was alot of fun and I'm sure you have many fond memories of him. I was lucky to have spent some time with my Logan in Viet Nam last year and we sure did have some wonderful Mother and son bonding. I still cry every day and I get so afraid of what the years to come will be like, it seems the sorrow is getting worse instead of more bearable. Did you experience that too?   I can't change what has happened so I must move forward.  I recite the serenity prayer everyday.  "God grant the ability to change the things I can't accept, accept the things I can't change and give me the ability to know the difference."   I know each of our stories are different and each of us handles things in different ways.  I know your pain and I know our journey will not be easy, but I am more than happy to walk beside you while our stories unfold.
Hugs to you Lorelie,  Macs
At 9:52pm on December 18, 2010, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…

dear Lorelie,  I wish I had the solution to make all the parents on the website feel better. I too lost my only child Logan, he was only 32 and living in Vietnam. He had just started a new management job and when he didn't show up to work for two days that was when they found him. So many questions and no answers.  I have found if I tlk about Logan, I feel some comfort. He was so funny and witty and just made everyone feel good when he was around. I miss him sooooo much as we use to chat on FB all the time. Please tell me about your son. I'm here to listen and hope it will bring you some comfort too. Hugs to you, Macs 

 

At 9:35am on December 18, 2010, Carrie L said…

Lorelie how long have you lived in montana. i am from maryland and moved to kentucky 5 years back but we had thought about montana.... do you like horses? Carrie L

At 9:30am on December 18, 2010, Carrie L said…

Hello Lorelie I am sorry I don't have the solutions for feeling better. I am constantly reminded of my beautiful child. the tv does it going out in public does it everything does it.I mean what am I supposed to do. I can't turn it off nor do I want to... For those fools who think I am going to get better they just better forget it. the sadness is intense as our love was.... I am sorry I had to walk away go to get a tissue. and come back. It is that I know we are conncecting on this site but i know there is so much more. a hug a cry..... thinking of all of us and hoping somehow we have helped eachother... carrie L

At 6:32pm on November 1, 2010, JAY GRABOWSKI said…
Dear Lorelie,
I so agree with you , I think what happens is that to us we have lost our little boy our angel where to other people he was a man - i always saw him as my little boy even though he was 34 when he died. I just hope I get to see him again
At 12:56pm on August 6, 2010, Sharon Eickenroth Mitchell said…
Hi Lorelie...I am thinking your profile pic is of you and your sweet son..."love it" I don't have any of Nickolas and myself like that, so sweet. I am so sorry for your loss the heartache we experience is unexplicable...our children are our lives...and when the leave this terra firm we ourselves are at a loss as how to fill that void. Only by seeking our peace in the one who knit our children together in the womb will we be able to find some solice. Even then our hearts will ache till we see them again. I don't understand the draw that our young have to these dangerous drugs...perhaps our world has grown so cold that they feel they must try something to ease the pain...not sure. my thoughts and prayers surround you. Sharon
At 3:31pm on April 18, 2010, Carrie L said…
I lost my son also. I love him and will continue his legacy somehow. I just wish I had spent every waking moment with him I always thought there was tomorrow I was wrong. carrie L
At 3:50am on October 5, 2009, Tami said…
Oh Lorelie, I so feel your pain, I lost my son in a motorcycle accident on 06-22-09, this is a journey no parent should ever have to take, We all know the despair you feel, everyone grieves differently, you just need to hang on, write you feelings, write to your beautiful son, We are all here to listen to you, PLEASE write whatever you are feeling, It sometimes helps to get it out.

I hold you in a tight hug,
Tami
At 1:55am on August 29, 2009, lorelie elkshoulder said…
I'm going back to church on Sunday. I can't live like this I need some peace and I'm really willing to try anything. Everything I've ever been thru in the years since my kids' dad passed my son has been there for me. I m so lost without him my heart and soul are heavy. Thank you one and all for your comments and words of comfort. I go back to college soon and i'm really worried about that. It's a task just to get out of bed anymore!
At 8:46pm on August 28, 2009, kimmiegurl said…
aloha lorelei..... your story touched me..... i have never lost a child.... but i can only imagine the hurt that goes with it.......life does go one... even when we feel like we cant.....i pray that the Universe will comfort you and give you the guidance you need.....i pray that your Son will give you a sign that he is alright and that the sign will comfort you Spirit and nurture your Soul...... know that the power of Love will overcome... i pray that you soon will be able to smile again..... andf that soon you will Remember all the great memories you created with your Son.. and hold them dear in you heart...... go back to your roots.... theres always comfort in that... when i almost lost my mo'opuna(grandchild) i thought i was going to die....We Hawaiians believe that our loved ones are always near...... have faith that Your Son also is near.... much love and Aloha kimmie
At 9:58pm on August 12, 2009, Penny Calkins said…
Lorelie, I just joined this site as I too lost my one and only child, my son (also 28) last October. I do understand the heavy sorrow and emptiness and I am sorry for your loss. I have had several losses of a husband, bother, aunt and brother-in law. I feel as if it doesn't make sence that the world just keeps going on, when ours are "Shattered" beyond words. I am here if you need me, and after almost 10 months since Corey's death (my son), I know that I will never, ever be the same. Please be easy on yourself and allow yourself to take one day, one hour, etc. at a time. Penny~
At 12:55am on August 12, 2009, Danielle L. Moore said…
My son was killed June 20, 2009, believe me I do know what you are going thru. I pray, I cry, I look at his pictures, I cry. It an ongoing circle. My spirit is to strong to be broken, my faith is to strong to give up.
I have blammed God, myself, his father everyone who I felt was the cause.
Breath ask God for his help.
My worst time is when I am alone. Then I come here and see I am not alone.
My son was only 21 he had just begun but...
YOU are not alone I am here. We can cry and talk together to bring each other thru
At 4:43pm on August 11, 2009, shirley zurschmeide said…
I know how you feel, my son and his girlfriend had bought a home together. Scott always wanted his own home. Scott is alot like me his mom and when they moved into their home he would do some things like I would. His girlfriend would say your just like your mom. I raised him mostly by myself so yes he was like me. Scott and I had a great mother and son relationship. We always hugged and kissed hello and goodbye. On the phone we always said I love you before we hung up. I talk to Scott alot because I believe he can here me,he's just in another place right now. I still miss him and I like you will always cry for our sons. That's what we do. Your turn will come when the Lord is ready for you so you have to wait your turn. I know how hard it is to have holidays and your son is not there. And it took me awhile to learn after reading some books and the bible. And I'm not all that religious. But I do believe death is not the end of life but only the life as we know. I sometimes can hear Scott say to me Mom stop crying.
Our sons are in a better place and they wait for us, believe that Lorelie. You will be okay, it's not easy but you will go on. Just like me, we'll have our bad times and our okay times. Look at your grandkids they bring love and hope in your life. I have two grandsons and they bring smiles to my face. Believe in the after life. Believe that your son hears you when you talk to him. I hang chimes in the tree by Scott's graves and when I go to visit even on a still day one of those chimes manage to make a noise and on a windy day I'm so happy because I believe he's there with me. Believe Lorelie believe.
I'm always here for you nobody can make the pain go away, we live with it.

Shirley
At 1:22am on August 11, 2009, lorelie elkshoulder said…
I drug myself out of bed today and went to the fair with my husband of 4 yrs, my daughters and 8 of my grandkids. I was miserable, all I could think of was last year when Jimmy and his wife and their kids were there too. It's like every time we get together there is this huge part of the event missing and for now at least it makes me almost physically ill. Ppl tell me to keep busy but I can't seem to even get out of bed. I thank all of you for responding to me. I hope to write my thoughts and maybe someday some progress.
Lorelie
At 9:22pm on August 10, 2009, sue ferrante said…
hi lorelie my name is sue my son Carlos died 13 years ago and there will come a time in your life where the pain eases up I still miss my child and I still cry for him but I can think of him most of the time and smile. Carlos was my youngest child he was 23 when he died I have 2 other children Joe and Lisa they kept me going I took alot of my anger on my husband. I just wanted to if I could sit in a cornor and watch the world go by, but life goes on I use to ask why does the birds still sing my heart is broken and then the song comes on by the b gess how do I ment this broken heart.I still have b-day cake for him and have family over and we looks pictures light a candle at church have a mass said for him, and the tears start all over again and I relive that awful day when my life fell apart.so hang in there Lorelie there will come a time in your life when you will smile again trust me it will peace your new friend Sue
At 4:54pm on August 10, 2009, marybeth said…
Lorelie
Even though we want to die also as I myself had felt 3 years ago when my son was killed, we must not let ourselves go that route. Suppose there is a GOD and your son is in heaven waiting with your husband for your arrival and you commit suicide and you cannot show up in heaven because of this action...I can't say if this is true or not.we won't know until it is our time, what is really true so we go on ...I cannot know what you are feeling with the death of a spouse and a child. It must be very hard to cope.. Please read past comments from others and you will see how others coped and what helped them ...each one of us is different with our mourning time.. You made a good decision to seek help with others who are suffering with their pain..remember one minute at a time
At 11:30pm on August 9, 2009, Bethany said…
Hang in there. It is hard. You wouldnt want to hurt the ppl. who love you. I too have thought of ending my life, this is normal. I had to think of what suffering this act would bring to my family. My son Mark passed away April 30, 2009. He was my only son. I have two daughters. There is something so amazing about the way a son loves a mother. They are our loyal and fierce little protectors. I feel empty without my son. For my daughters I will cqrry on.....I hope you can find the strength to do the same.

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