Valerie moore's Comments

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At 1:01am on September 7, 2013, Rebecca sue martin said…

sweet lady I am so sorry for your loss I know your pain .we love our babys even when they do things that hurt us.we try to teach our babys the best we know how .rest easy you are not alone .I am sorry i havent responed before now .Its been 10 years and 19 days since My Mark left me . I miss him today just as I missed him 10 years ago the pain is stil my constand companion .I want tell you it getts easier .I want tell you the pain will get less it doesnt . We just bury it a little deeper everyday but it still right there we will feel it with every breathe we take every step we carrie it it is who we are now . My Daught Amy calls it our shadow shaw we wear it always . My son Tommy has moved away he is running from the pain but I know no matter where he goes his pain is still right there in the mirror .Tommy and Mark looked like twins most could not tell them apart .Tommy said every time I look in the mirror to shave I see Mark and the pain is still as raw as the day he left .I have been so wraped up in my shaw of pain that I cant help my kids .the are grown but we are all stuck in this darkness of pain and loss .and every one around us seems to have moved on but for us there is no road out of this pain.10 years and still tears pain just as raw as the day he left . God Help us alll . I wish I could give you compfort I wish for words of love and peace in your hearts But that well is dry .our babys are gone but the love we care for them is always with us  . .poeple have told me its time to move on . I tell them there is no time limit on my pain  my loss my love or my tears so cry if you need to are do.but dont let anyone tell you when are how .and know that you are not alone .

 

 

At 12:41am on May 12, 2012, MarthaIZ said…
Valerie- hope u stay strong this weekend. I know well b miserable. But we have no other choice. Keep it moving...hugs
At 11:28pm on May 10, 2012, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi valerie haven't heard From you.how u doing friend? I pray ur. Fine get in touch with me hugs to u friend! Fb rodriguezalicia314ymail.com Alicia Jesse's mom
At 3:01pm on April 18, 2012, Mary Kay E-W, Collin's mom said…

Valerie,  I have just found this site.  I am so sorry for your horrible loss and I could relate to your experience.  We lost our 20 year old son, Collin, 3 weeks ago today.   The pain is unbearable.  He was such a good kid!   I am having such trouble coping.....I will never be the same.   I just want so much that something positive can come from our incredible loss.  I knew he smoked marijuana in High School.   He would argue with me that it was harmless...should be legalized....everyone used it.....   I would argue that it would lead to worse.  He always told me not to worry.  I suspected pills at one point but he denied it.  I tested him occassionaly because I worried endlessly about him.  Nothing ever showed except marijuana.   He was a big kid with an even bigger heart.     He had just gone upstairs for bed after telling me he was going to visit and help his grandpa before work the next day.   I found him on the bathroom floor. They weren't able to revive him.  They told me later there was a needle still in his arm.  I couldn't believe it.  He would get light headed if they had to draw blood at the doctors.  Such a sweet kid.  If I had only known!   I would have done anything to help him.   I'm not sure what I'm hoping for but I thought it may help to comment with others who have been through this.    

At 9:38pm on February 29, 2012, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Hi Valerie....I know tomorrow is Dusty's Angel B-day.  i Iill have you in my thoughts and prayers.  I am hoping you are ok I don't see posts from you anymore.  Just know we are all there with you.

Hugs on March 1st

Susan

At 5:19pm on February 17, 2012, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi Valerie just want to ask u how your doing? It's been awhile since I've heard from you.u
I hope you're doing good I'm missing Jesse everyday I know you must be missing Dusty I thought with time it would be easyer but it is not I miss him more. Just so sad.hope to hear from you Hugs.to you.Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 12:12am on December 29, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi Val hope you're fine haven't seen no posts from you.hope to hear from you friend. Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 8:28pm on December 13, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi valerie wondering how you're doing.it is almost gonna be x-mas.another one without my beloved jesse.i know you must be missing you're beloved Dusty.and then another year.pray you're doing good.Hug To You.Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 5:05pm on November 29, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi valerie just stopped to say hi hope you're doing better. I know holidays are so depressing. God be with you. Alicia Jesse's Mom. Thinking of you friend.
At 9:38pm on November 24, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi valerie how are you doing on this Thanksgiving day. I just can't bring myself to say happy Thanksgiving. Cause i know it is not.we are just missing our beloved son's god bless you and hope your in good health. Alicia..Jesse's Mom
At 11:56am on October 29, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Hi Valerie,

The depression I had as a child wasn't even recognized by me, I was that young.  I always felt sad unless there was something to be happy about.  When the other kids in school were laughing and joking, some time in junior high I actually remember thinking to myself, "how come they're always so happy?" and wishing I could be like them.  No one talked about depression back then.  I don't think I even knew the word!  What makes me so sad now is how much of my life was wasted being so sad.  How could I have been depressed when I had a good husband and both of my children were alive?  As Todd grew older, I stopped fearing the loss of my husband so much and worrying about how I could ever go on without him, if that ever happened.  Todd was such good company and always had me laughing, teaching me about new technology and sharing my excitement over new things - we were always on the same page!  Even my husband noticed it and actually got a kick out of it, because he's so opposite, kind of uptight about things, but fun when he can stop worrying long enough to enjoy the present.  I know that antidepressants won't keep me from being depressed now that I've lost Todd, but they keep me alive and not thinking so much about leaving this planet for good. 

Does the cymbalta help with aches and pains?  I've read that it does, even in people who aren't depressed.  I had these pains before we lost Todd, but not quite so bad.  I was in physical therapy at the time he got sick, and it was helping a lot, but of course my world stopped when Todd didn't come home from the hospital.  I feel as though my life has ended.  I still do my stretching exercises when I remember because I can hear Todd's caring, gentle voice asking me if I had been doing my exercises whenever he heard me groan with pain, i.e. getting up from the sofa, etc.  I try really hard not to make any sound, but it slips out sometimes.  Only Todd could ask if I was doing my exercises without sounding as though he was reprimanding me.  He had such a knack for feeling empathy and being helpful.  Yet, when I wanted to be alone, he could be in the house but somehow invisible - I loved that about him!  I don't think he realized he had these qualities.

Every day I cry too.  I know how much you miss your handsome son Dusty as only someone can who has lost a child.  Most of the time I feel as though I've lost my only child too, because my daughter is so complicated and gets annoyed with me very easily.  I really think she suffers from bi-polar depression, but she won't see a doctor.  Instead she'll "talk" to us and after that, we both feel as though we've been hit by a truck.  Todd never ever made me feel bad in his whole life!  I know that sounds impossible, but he really was the light of my life, and more so the older he became.  Thank you for listening.  I don't know what I'd do without friends like you on this site. 

Peace and love,

Janet

At 10:00am on October 28, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Valerie....I wish you could come to CA.  It would be so comforting to meet other Moms/Dads.   I was so excited that we did meet up I could hardly sleep last night.  I am so glad we did that.

Susan

At 7:14pm on October 27, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi valerie no there well be nomore joy for me even throu i have others. My next son is 28 nowand i love him with all my heart then i have a 22 ,20,12 and two daughter s. I still miss jesse he would be 30. But he will be 28 forever.i just miss him i well never be the same.I've been looking for a good book of live after death but haven't found one yet.I'm sp sorry we have to miss them so much.my son to had taken pills but he was awake when i last talk to him in hospital but they put him to sleep and he never woke up.i wish there was something i could have done.too late now.how old would Dusty be now.I hope that one day we can talk about our Angeles without feeling sad or cry.Hugs to you Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 11:45pm on October 26, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Hi valerie just here to say hi haven't heard from you hope you're fine. I'm here missing my jesse everyday how we go on only God knows.at night it is sooo hard to go to sleep.tjen i sleep and i don't want to get up sop deppressing. His on my mind day and night. But of corse I'll never forget him.i don't want to. I have pictures of him all over my livingroom.i really don't care what anybody says. I'm sorry we had to lose our son's ..Hugs to you Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 6:48am on October 19, 2011, Brittany Popplewell said…
Dear Val,
Thank you so much for writing back, you have no idea how nice it is to have people to share the pain with other ppl that have actually been and still going through the same thing I am. I dont feel as crazy as I was feeling but I was doing things unusual n they were crazy to any1 that has never lost a child ya know bc they didnt understand. Also I have felt so alone n all this n its nice to have ppl to talk to, I had so much support the first week to two weeks, I couldnt make ppl leave or stop calling if I wanted to...After we had her funeral I didnt get any more phone calls or visitors anymore, I felt like ppl were like well we got that over with she is fine now!!! No No No I am not fine, I still need some1 to talk to and I just had to find some1, any1!! So tk u very much and I am sorry for your loss as well, this is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, I just never thought anything like this would happen to me, however it has n I just feel like a part of me passed away when she did!
At 2:04pm on October 8, 2011, Sheila Venezia said…

Hi Valerie

Well last Monday Oct. 3 my beloved Jason turned 34. I couldn't even get out of bed. This week was like a living hell for me. Just can't stop crying. Thanks for you thoughts. My prayers and thoughts are with you also.

At 2:04pm on October 8, 2011, Sheila Venezia said…

Hi Valerie

Well last Monday Oct. 3 my beloved Jason turned 34. I couldn't even get out of bed. This week was like a living hell for me. Just can't stop crying. Thanks for you thoughts. My prayers and thoughts are with you also.

At 7:38pm on October 3, 2011, Leslie Leveck said…
Hey valerie! your from Texas too! Awesome! :)
At 10:33am on October 2, 2011, Sheila Venezia said…
Hi Valerie, Good to hear from you.  I had always picked my son up everymoring to take him to work.  On that dreadful morning in the mist of our major snow storms when I got to his apartment, he wasn't outside waiting for me as he always was.  When there was no answer on his cell I new something was wrong. I called the police and when they,the ambulance and fire department arrived the fire department had to break down his door and the emt came out a few minutes later and told me he had passed. I tried to get in to see him but the police told me that it is better to remember as he was. They had to do an autopsy and cause was a brain embolisym. He died instantly.  Not being able to see him again is horrible. I recant that morning in my mind constantly.  If I could have gotten to  him sooner. I keep thinking that maybe he had a second when he knew something was wrong and tried to reach for a phone, but everyone tells me that it was instant and he felt no pain.  I don't know that and just pray that that is the case.  So I am in constant anquish over his death.  and tomorrow he would be 34. 
At 10:33am on October 2, 2011, Sheila Venezia said…
Hi Valerie, Good to hear from you.  I had always picked my son up everymoring to take him to work.  On that dreadful morning in the mist of our major snow storms when I got to his apartment, he wasn't outside waiting for me as he always was.  When there was no answer on his cell I new something was wrong. I called the police and when they,the ambulance and fire department arrived the fire department had to break down his door and the emt came out a few minutes later and told me he had passed. I tried to get in to see him but the police told me that it is better to remember as he was. They had to do an autopsy and cause was a brain embolisym. He died instantly.  Not being able to see him again is horrible. I recant that morning in my mind constantly.  If I could have gotten to  him sooner. I keep thinking that maybe he had a second when he knew something was wrong and tried to reach for a phone, but everyone tells me that it was instant and he felt no pain.  I don't know that and just pray that that is the case.  So I am in constant anquish over his death.  and tomorrow he would be 34. 

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