Valerie moore's Comments

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At 4:16pm on June 3, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Hey Valerie....everyone is entitled to pity partys in life !!!  That is what we are all here together for, to listen when someone is down.  I know how this economy is for everyone, so hard on all.  In the news this morning it was only bad news, nothing to lift our spirits.  Guess right now we just have to count tiny blessings and hang in there.

Yes the next two months will be very tough for you.  My toughest months are December thru March 4th.  Donny's angel B-day then his birthday....right in the middle of dreary winter too....

My grand daughters are coming tomorrow to stay with me for 2 months....I am so excited.  They live in Idaho now so I miss them very badly.  They used to live with 5 miles of me all their lives so it has been very hard to not have them here with all that has happened.  My sons X finally got her way, packed up took our girls (2) and moved by her mother.  She just goes thru boyfriend after boyfriend leaving the girls alone all the time.  Which she did here but I would always go and get them and keep them till she decided to go home.  So it kills me that they are so far away from us.  So see, we all can get on pity parties real easy.....!!!!   Hang in there, keep in touch....I will be thinking of you on the 28th....

Post what you feel....we are here to listen!

Susan

At 10:52am on June 3, 2011, valerie canosa said…
Valerie, thank you and I know we are all here for one another. Yes she was beautiful.. Well Sara was walking a shortcut with a friend thru the train tracks on jan 14th, she was stuck and killed by a train coming their way. Her friend fled the scene did not inform anyone of what had occured. She went home and told her aunt she fell down some steps, "her pants were ripped". I still do not know what to make of all this, I need closer. Once again thank you for the words, I hold you in my prayers, and may God bless you with more strength and serenity you need.. God bless you
At 10:02am on May 25, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Val hoping you are doing ok it is not ok for us forever but somehow we needto move on ..I haven't reallymoved on i had too many regrets. and sadness here. carrie
At 4:54pm on May 21, 2011, Chelle said…
Hi Miss Valerie

My deepest condolences for the loss of your boy. Remember in your darkest moments 
"The eyes of Jehovah are toward the righteous ones and his ears are toward their cry for help; He is near to those that are broken at heart and those who are crushed in spirit he saves" 
-Psalms 34:15,18

Sincerely, 
At 3:43pm on May 17, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Thinkn of you today.  I have been in a "funk' too for about a month.  just started coming out of it.....hope you do too.   These emotions come and go

Hugs

Susan

At 11:35am on May 13, 2011, JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 said…

Valerie, I am so sorry to hear you cant get UComp. Sometimes if there is a good reason that you had to leave, you can fight them. There is a time limit tho. I knew a girl years ago, did it due to harrassment that made her job unbearable to be there. It was a waitress type job. this was back in the 70's. She was dating an African American, and they treated her really bad.

I doubt your situation would be a reason tho.

It has to be hard to try to find a job under the stress, I wish you luck in finding something and maybe some of the other moms here, that had to return to work can help you.

I have days where I cant function and I dont get much done around the house. Not that I ever did that much before, lol.

If that is your mission and its a good one, then you do what you have to. I wish I had a way also to alert all on the consequences of binge drinking, but its already out there. Sometimes the fun takes ones life. the others move on. Infact, a few of her buds on fbook, said they are going to celebrate sunday on her birthday because that is what they would have done if she were here. I hate anything that has to do with drinking. It is always over done. I just posted about a 22 mnth old who died in a car fire crash due to the parents drinking in the car while parked. There vehicle got hit by 5 teens who were smoking marijuana.

Well, good luck in all you do. We all know time does help.

God bless you

At 3:04pm on May 12, 2011, Susan - Donny's Mom said…

Yes, sadly you and I are similar in many ways.  We lost our boys around the same time (12-25-09 for us) and both sadly to drugs.  Donny too started pretty young with weed, and went thru a couple of programs when he was a teenager.  Then with his Dad's help, got a great job opportunity when he was married with one of his 3 girls.  he almost messed that up and had to go into a program at work.  All seemed good for a very long time.  Then when he youngest daughter was 1 he broke his neck at a river that we all were enjoying the 4th of July.  Horrible accident....sand bar and a shallow dive.  Well he got all fixed up by the Dr's BUT the prescription drugs began.  Lots of different pain pills.  Then when the divorce came 15 yrs later he went on anti depression pills and the pain pills....well mix that with alcohol and non treated sleep aphnea and one very bad recreational drug and he left us in his sleep.  I got to see and hold him and I am thankful for that as I see many tortured Mom's so sad from not being able to hold their children.  He seemed so peaceful and that had some compensation for me as his life was hell with his X being so mean.

But still he had 3 wonderful daughters that needed him through life.  It is not fair to them that he wanted to be numb to the pain of the world.....sad.

But don't beat yourself up, we were not divorced and we were there with a big loving family always by his side and he still made bad decisions.  I just don't what else we could have done to change his ways.  I know I will continue on with life but it kills me to see his daughters fatherless in this tough world.  Even his little nephew (5) misses hin UNK that he loved too. 

Thanks for posting to me, hugs to you

Susan

At 8:19pm on May 11, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…

I bought a thing at Walmart for $20 bucks that comes w/helium and 30 balloons. I told Candace's husband, Mike, and we'll write notes, insert them in the baloons, fill up w/helium and send to Heaven. I'm sure Candace is watching and will enjoy that.

 

At 8:09pm on May 11, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…

Thanks Val,That makes
 me feel better because I thought I was loosing my mind, so up and down! Actually it scared me when I started feeling better. Because how could i feel better so easily when Candace is my world! That's why I stoped taking the pills the dr. prescribed. She didn't want to refill them anyway because they're addicting.

At 1:59pm on May 10, 2011, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

Valerie,

It was very sweet of you to stop in and leave a comment on my page, I really appreciate it.

On May 6, it was five months my daughter has been gone.  I'm guessing I'm usually doing well because it's still not real to me??  Today is one of those days where it is very real.  I have read, your mind will only let you grasp it in small bits as to not overwhelm you.  I'm assuming that's what's happening to me. 

I don't know . . . As sad as it is, it is good to come to this group and talk to people that know how I feel.  It really is helpful.

I wish you were here with me, we could share some tears and hugs.

Thanks again for thinking of me.


At 5:19pm on April 30, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
Hi Valerie, What city and state do you live in and I will look for help for low-cost health information for your family?
At 12:19am on April 30, 2011, Cathy Pearly said…
Hi Valerie,  How are you doing?  I hope things are better for you, and you are doing a little better than surviving!  I just wanted to say hello and see how you were.  I may not be on this site as often as I used to be, but I am always just a mere phone call away, anytime you want or need to talk, I will pick up the phone, or call you right back I hope you know that! 
At 8:36am on April 26, 2011, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

Hey Valerie,

I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you today.  Hugs to you!

At 11:40am on April 20, 2011, Tami said…

Thanks Valerie, My email address is Atonsgirl@aol.com

 

At 1:47pm on April 19, 2011, Tami said…
Valerie, I would love to see Dusty's tattoos, My son loved them, he wanted to get more, My father was a San Francisco police officer, he passed away a year before my son, My son had my fathers badge tattoo'ed over his heart, it was done by and amateur and it was his first tattoo, he was so proud of it and he loved to show it off, he went to Colorado to visit a cousin, he came back with the tattoo on his arm, had it done in one sitting, 6 hours. I miss him so much as I know we all do....
At 5:56pm on April 12, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
Maybe mine is to help raise Candace's girls now that she's gone. Her husband Mike had his Mom & Dad move in to help. They live about an hour away. My room mate goes to that area periodically. So the next time I get to see Candace's girls is (so oppropriately, and I hate it also) is Mother's Day!!
At 9:11am on April 12, 2011, Terri - Autumn's Mom said…

My husband's uncle called the other day and I answered the phone.  He asked how I was doing and I said, "okay".  He then said, "I was just wondering if you guys were doing better and getting over "it" yet."  I told him we will never get over "it", we just have to learn how to live without our daughter and he said, "Yeah, you're right".  I do think some people honestly feel like enough time has passed, for me it's been four months, and we just need to put our loss behind us.  That really makes me mad.  I'd rather not talk to someone ever again if they're going to have that attitude.  You know?

Anyway, hope you're having an okay day today.

At 4:37am on April 12, 2011, Tim's Mom, Vickie said…
Hi Valerie, I know what you mean about being hit by a tornado, the grief will just come out of nowhere and it feels like someone punched you in the heart. I stopped trying to make sense of it, I just let it happen.  I've had no support from my husband, and my ex , well, there's a reason he's my ex.  He came to the memorial service, when the guests had all left, I asked everyone (family) to come up to the table where Tim's cremains were and asked them all to say whatever prayer they felt was appropriate and I started a song on the cd player, To WHere You Are, by Josh Groban.  My ex cried and said he should've been there for Tim, that if he had been none of this would've happened. I didn't comment, because in part, he was right, Tim was my exes favorite, and he just dropped out of the kids lives for 11 years without so much as a phone call. I know that laying blame won't bring Tim back, but we all have the "what if" moments. I'm here whenever you need me. *hugs*
At 4:37am on April 12, 2011, Tim's Mom, Vickie said…
Hi Valerie, I know what you mean about being hit by a tornado, the grief will just come out of nowhere and it feels like someone punched you in the heart. I stopped trying to make sense of it, I just let it happen.  I've had no support from my husband, and my ex , well, there's a reason he's my ex.  He came to the memorial service, when the guests had all left, I asked everyone (family) to come up to the table where Tim's cremains were and asked them all to say whatever prayer they felt was appropriate and I started a song on the cd player, To WHere You Are, by Josh Groban.  My ex cried and said he should've been there for Tim, that if he had been none of this would've happened. I didn't comment, because in part, he was right, Tim was my exes favorite, and he just dropped out of the kids lives for 11 years without so much as a phone call. I know that laying blame won't bring Tim back, but we all have the "what if" moments. I'm here whenever you need me. *hugs*
At 8:17pm on April 11, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
Candace passed from ethanol (beer) and hydrocodone (Loritabas). Neither ALONE would've killed her, Together it was FATAL! My poor little girl! I want time to move quickly so i can be w/her again. Why can't i jyut sleep until then?  

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