Janice, I do understand the pain you feel.It has been sometime for me. I stiill have a hard time with our justice system.I went to a grief group finally about 6 weeks ago.I learned I had stayed so caught up in the madness of the unjustice that I focused on that.So now after years I am trying to work through this grief.I cant say its gotten better.I have given it to God.I plan someday to write about it all.At this time I am working on the letters for my youngest son Jasons Lifegift organ reciepents.I feel if I can get this done.I am honoring my sons.I know Steven would want me to do this for his baby brother.I wish I had some magic way of taking the pain,darkness and feeling so helpless from all.I at times can get on here and write.Then still at times it hurts so bad.I am working on this because I do know my sons knew me to help others.As they did as well when anyone needed it.We all can help each other I feel now.I say often with me I call it the silent scream.I am working on a piece to share with all.We will forever scream in for our children.I listen with my heart and I do feel them surround me.I hope my words someday can help another.For no one should have to go through this kind of pain.Feel free to write me anytime.God Bless you and all others on here.We are all very special people.Always here Steven and Jasons mom Gaynell Leath
thank you Janice, my thoughts will be with you also... it is the hardest thing in this life to lose a child.. this time of the year is my worst,,, Michael alwys loved Christmas,,, he is truly missed by alot of people... This site has helped me alot,, just knowing that i am not the only that feels so lost and angry,,, because i am angry.... some days are worse that others, but i muddle thru... thank you again so much
thank you for your comment i miss my son so much it hurts I feel like I should be the strong one for christmas for my other children they are hurting so bad also jonathan was the baby of the family and although they wanted to strangle him most of his life he had just gotten old enough for his sisters to start enjoy being around him. One day I want to put up christmas items but just can't jonathan was the one that always took everythng down for me and helped me put them up, how do you do the holidays I just fel like a zombie the days go on and i think I am getting things done but at the end of the night I can't see what I have accomplish that day
JUST WHEN I THINK THE WORLD IS A COLD AND LONELY PLACE, A PERSON LIKE YOU COMES ALONG TO BRING ME BACK TO REALITY.. THANKYOU, THANKYOU , YOU CAN NOT KNOW HOW MUCH YOUR KINDNESS HAS MEANT TO ME.... I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THOSE WITH THE GIFT TO INSPIRE, ARE THE TRUE ANGELS HERE ON EARTH.... YOU ARE AN ANGEL......... DONNA
Thank you for your understanding it is hard when people just what you to go on and all you want is to see your child again - I never got to touch him again the wreck was so horrific they did not even ask us to idenify him all I can think about was he afraid and wishing for me to be there to stop the pain. I will think of you and hope you find some peace.
God bless Jay
Dear Janice I dont get on the computer much, I am so sorry for the loss of your son, I no what you are going thru I dont no how I get by. My daughter deanna 's birthday is coming up on oct 19th, that will be very hard for me, but my other daughter that live in wisconsin wants me to meet her in lasvegas to celebrate deanna birthday, i am having a hard time with this, but my son wants me to go, because all i do is stay in my room and cry he says i need to get ouy, but i am feeling so guilty. It is only 4 months for me on the 25th it will be 5 I dont no where time is going. If you ever need to talk i am here for you I will say a prayer for them tonight. God Bless You
Janice, Thanks for responding to my post. We lost our son's at exactly the same time. Adam died on 10/29/09. Recently I have had to live through what should have been his 20th birthday. I am having some "good days" now but I am forever changed. Please feel free to chat anytime, go to my page to see the story and please share yours if you can.
Janice, I'm really sorry for the loss of your son. I passed the 1yr. mark, June 29. I don't know why Mom's are so compelled to appear to be the "strong" ones or why we feel we have to be. This group has really helped me a lot. For me, it's knowing that anytime I can come here and feel safe about my feelings and offer hope to others who feel the same pain. Just reading helps or greeting a new person. Feel free to share here. When I joined this group there were 46 members. To grow this fast in a year, must say something for the need and needs being met. We're here and even if we aren't writing a lot, we see what's written and many tears are shared. Hugs of Hope, Kathy