Jeff Justus's Comments

Comment Wall (119 comments)

You need to be a member of LegacyConnect to add comments!

Join LegacyConnect

At 6:30pm on August 11, 2011, Patti Meadows said…
Hey Jeff, Your wounds are so fresh, You are still reeling...I will pray for You.  Right after Matt went to heaven, We met with our pastor for some counseling...He too has lost an adult son...He asked me what I would like to hear from him if I could hear anything the Pastor had to say about losing a child.  I told him then, that I needed to know I would smile again, and be able to think & remember Matt without agonizing pain.  He assured me that I would, although I really doubted it.  But he was right.  I try to look at it now that Matt died one night, be he lived 26 years.  That is so much more of the legacy I choose to remember.  I know it is hard, but try not to be angry w/God (although it does not seem that you are)..I was.  It took me a while, but I finally realize that God is on my side...he grieves with me, he hates death.  Please tell me about Your son, and his interests.  Thanks for chatting, Patti Meadows
At 4:38pm on August 8, 2011, Ilona H Hertz said…
I do not mind at all letting you know what I think.  An aneurism of the ascending aorta can rupture at any time.  Yet, a chest x-ray may suggest that one is present or it may really be big and obvious. We don't get hysterical at every bulge because we would be scaring everyone.  That said you might want to obtain the x-ray to show to someone.  Also, had he had chest x-rays in the past?  Had this finding developed?  It actually is pretty complicated.  My grandson's death could also have been avoided if the physicians had listened to and believed my daughter.  I am trying to lessen the pain by telling her that with hindsight, after the incident occurs, it is very easy to know what should have been done.  That is never true before the fact because in reality - we cannot predict the future.  I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers for my daughter because you are absolutely correct, she feels she has no one she has to live for.  I don't know how to change this.  Keep well and write me about anything, anytime!!!
At 1:29pm on August 7, 2011, Ilona H Hertz said…
I am a physician, your son never knew anything.  That's how an aortic aneurism/rupture is.  I am so sorry.  I do comfort myself with the knowledge that Gavin always was always happy and had alot of fun.  He went to sleep happy saying Goodnight to me and then, at 10 pm to his mother.  He just simply didn't wake up.  He didn't suffer - but we do.
At 11:59am on August 7, 2011, Ilona H Hertz said…

Jeff,  thanks so much for your note - i really appreciate it.  You are also correct about my daughter.  She was a single mom with one child whom she lived for and now with him gone, although she says she would not do anything to hurt herself, she does say she wants to die.  It is 6 months on August 8th and she only moves from her home when someone takes her to a doctor.  We went to one Compassionate Friends meeting but she couldn't stand the though that she will be in the kind of pain she is in now forever and that is the only message she returned with from the meeting.  I do hope in time she will return to compassionate Friends and also join this group (I have sent her the email).

 

At 12:19pm on August 5, 2011, shirley zurschmeide said…
Jeff I watched Beyond Belief last nite about how some people who died and came back and said they saw heaven, God and people they knew. How wonderful it was.  I would like to think that it was like that for our sons but only God kept them.  I talk to Scott sometimes and spend time looking at his pictures, thinking to myself why?  Why take a wionderful son like Scott, someone that I needed in my life, who was my strenght. But it not about me.  Scott will wait for me and he will be there for me.  I have adjusted to the life Gods has given me.  But I know my son is right there for me, sometimes I reach out my hand and I try to feel his touch,  I know strange but I believe in the afterlife and I believe in God's presents.  I hope you believe this for your son.  It's healing to believe, at lease it is for me.  Take care.  Shirley
At 8:07am on August 2, 2011, valerie moore said…

dear jeff,

it IS very very hard to realize our sons will not be coming home... my only  child passed on aug 28 2009  i am coming up on the 2nd anniversary and i am already a mess.  i look for dusty everywhere.  we were very close and i saw him the evening before he passed , i am so grateful even though it was a very short visit (he needed tylenol for a sore foot) we always hugged and i always kissed his cheek and we always always told each other we loved each other.  i got that last chance to hug and kiss him and tell him i loved him.  i am so grateful for that last visit/  hugs,  valerie

At 5:38pm on July 25, 2011, FELECIA WINN said…
HI JEFF NO MY SON WAS WITH A FRIEND OF HIS THEY HAD BEEN OUT DANCING WHEN SHE SAID HE COMPLAINED OF CHEST PAINS INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE HOSPITAL HE WANTED TO COME HOME BUT HE NEVER MADE IT
At 5:38pm on July 25, 2011, FELECIA WINN said…
HI JEFF NO MY SON WAS WITH A FRIEND OF HIS THEY HAD BEEN OUT DANCING WHEN SHE SAID HE COMPLAINED OF CHEST PAINS INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE HOSPITAL HE WANTED TO COME HOME BUT HE NEVER MADE IT
At 8:09pm on July 11, 2011, Jacqueline said…
Thank you. I tried getting a hold of her by 'friending' opt after I looked up her profile. No response yet. Im sorry about ur son.
At 8:11am on July 3, 2011, Christine Worthy said…

Dear Jeff,

I agree!  The thoughts of losing my child never leave me.  I think of it dozens of times a day. Over and over I replay it in my mind.  I just have to get it out on paper.  My worst fear is that I will begin to forget, and I'm fearful of remembering as well. It's a two edged sword.  So, I wanted to get it down so that I can read it when I want to......so that I'll never forget...... I'm so sorry about your son.  Such a young age to pass from an AA.  He's very handsome. I will keep you in my prayers......hugs.....

At 9:33am on June 17, 2011, valerie moore said…

dear jeff,

i was reading your post regarding how you have found strength through God.  Well, i was raised in the church and was going to church before dusty passed away, however, i never felt that i had the real connection with God that i wanted.  after i lost dusty, i didnt want to live without him. all i wanted was to go and be with him. I was desperate. i finally made that wonderful connection with God or i dont think i would be here today. i found a new church and the people are so loving and caring.  yes there are plenty of bad days as i approaching dustys 27th birthday and the day of his passing, but i remember God is right there encouriging me and giving me the strength i need to get through each day.   valerie

 

At 9:33am on June 17, 2011, valerie moore said…

dear jeff,

i was reading your post regarding how you have found strength through God.  Well, i was raised in the church and was going to church before dusty passed away, however, i never felt that i had the real connection with God that i wanted.  after i lost dusty, i didnt want to live without him. all i wanted was to go and be with him. I was desperate. i finally made that wonderful connection with God or i dont think i would be here today. i found a new church and the people are so loving and caring.  yes there are plenty of bad days as i approaching dustys 27th birthday and the day of his passing, but i remember God is right there encouriging me and giving me the strength i need to get through each day.   valerie

 

At 10:08pm on June 7, 2011, Alicia Rodriguez said…
HI JEFF I KNOW HOW YOU MUST BE HURTING. MY SON WELL BE GONE 2 YEARS ON 7/12/011 AND I MISS HIM EVERY DAY.I CRY JUST LOOKIN AT PICTURES OF HIM MORE SO OF THE MOST RESANT ONES BEFORE HE PASSED.I JUST COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ON THAT DAY AT HOSPITAL. BUT MY FRIENDS TELL ME IT WAS JUST HIS TIME. ANYWAY CAN'T DO NOTHING NOW.JUST MISS HIM.I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU'RE SON QAS ALSO YOU'RE FRIEND. YOU KNOW. DAYS .WEEKS. YEARS. MAY PASS AND WE WELL HAVE THEM IN OUR HEARTS. I'll PRAYFOR ALL OF US ON THIS WEBSITE. GOD BLESS YOU
At 6:59am on June 7, 2011, shannon churchill said…

Jeff, I read your comment about having trouble looking at your son when he was a little boy.. I have the same problem..  I see those pictures and remember how much he needed me and depended on me and how much different you feel towards a little helpless boy than you do an adult.  It was the feeling of knowing you were their whole world, and they were yours. They distance themselves from that need when they are older.  Looking at the pictures brings back all those feelings.  Thank you for posting, it helps to know others are feeling the same way. 

At 6:02am on May 31, 2011, Tim's Mom, Vickie said…
Thank you Jeff. I'm glad you understood where I was coming from.  I hear people try to justify Tim's death with, "well, he did it to himself." Technically, we don't know that he did it to himself. There are so many things that conflict with that assumption that it doesn't make sense. Only Tim knows the real answers, and I can't ask him.  I honestly believe that someone slipped it to him in a soda, and had the police checked the contents of his car, and the leftover contents in the can of Pepsi in the cup holder, I'd have some much needed answers. They ransacked my house, but failed to look in the car.  He was furious with his friends for being involved in it, and was happy and relieved to be moving away from that element.  I know the answers can't bring him back, but there would be a sense of unfinished business that was completed  if I knew.  Thanks for listening. *hugs*
At 10:23am on May 29, 2011, FELECIA WINN said…
HI JEFF THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS IM SO SORRY THAT THIS SITE HAS BROUGHT US ALL HERE ..BUT THRU GOD'S AMAZING GRACE I HAVE FOUND THE STRENGTH TO TAKE MY HAPPINESS BAC AND I PRAY THAT FOR EACH OF US AND I KNOW IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR SOME BUT IT WILL HAPPEN
At 7:35am on May 22, 2011, Forever Bobby's Mom...Deb said…
My son died Nov 16th 2010....
At 7:34am on May 22, 2011, Forever Bobby's Mom...Deb said…

He was on his way to work, like most kids working and full time school. Driving down a dark road the road curved and he didn't ...he hit a tree and was killed on impact.  On his birthday the city put up signs and reflectors because he was the 10th person in 10 years to lose his life at that very same spot.  Really pissed me off that they didn't do anything before then....

 He was 32 served 4 years in the Navy won the NAM medal (which I found out was not an easy thing to do he was dropped down behind enemy lines to look for the black box on a plane)  then figured out he wanted to go into nursing... (like me)  I am an ER nurse and he thought that would be a great job.  

I just miss him so much...he was my first and I feel like my heart is literaly tearing right out of my chest...

At 11:18pm on May 21, 2011, Forever Bobby's Mom...Deb said…

Hi Jeff..  I hear you we had had 6 months of the "firsts"  first Thanksgiving, first birthday, first christmas, first new years...all within 6 weeks.  Now mothers day was just awful, husbands birthday was tough, now we have fathers day and my birthday coming up. It used to be the joke on the birthdays we would get calls from the kids and bobby was always the first to call and we would count them off  call 1#, call #2, call # 3 and everthing was truly right in the world when we got those 3 phone calls...now there are only 2 phone calls to us and it is just devastating.  I just dont understand how or why he had to go.  He was 4 months from graduating nursing school and becoming a registered nurse..all his dreams and hard work for what?  everthing is gone now.. I am so angry, and heartbroken I can hardly stand it.  Sorry for rambling...I know you are in pain as well.  I dont know what to say everyone keeps telling me to keep the faith...well I just dont have any "faith" anymore...  will be thinking of you...  so sorry for your loss...

 

At 1:46pm on April 28, 2011, Christine Worthy said…

Thank you for you comments Jeff.  I'm just not sure how I'm going to survive this pain.  Everyone goes on with their lives like everythings OK.  For me, the world stopped on March 4th when Noah died.  I have an older son who is 10, which is the only thing that keeps me going.  I know I have to be around for him.

Thanks again....

Latest Conversations

Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
3 hours ago
Profile IconDeLina Murray-Bridgers and Tupelo joined LegacyConnect
5 hours ago
Profile IconSteven J. Fowler, Beverly Kennerson, ken H and 2 more joined LegacyConnect
yesterday
Diane C commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Oct 8

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2019   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service