Jeff Justus's Comments

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At 1:46pm on April 28, 2011, Christine Worthy said…

Thank you for you comments Jeff.  I'm just not sure how I'm going to survive this pain.  Everyone goes on with their lives like everythings OK.  For me, the world stopped on March 4th when Noah died.  I have an older son who is 10, which is the only thing that keeps me going.  I know I have to be around for him.

Thanks again....

At 10:06pm on April 3, 2011, shannon churchill said…

Thank you Jeff, I am sure I will need some support at any time from my friends I have found here.   Nobody understands like other parents.. nobody.   I hope your family had a wonderful time together on your vacation... It is just not the same without the entire family....but ...he was there with you in spirit...  I bet you felt that.   

God Bless.     

At 8:23am on March 25, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Jeff,  My heart goes out to your friend at work who lost his wife suddenly just 3 months before he had planned to retire.  I guess we are not the only ones whose lives have been devastated by loss; there are too many of us.  It makes me realize I should make more time for travel with my husband, who retired only 6 months before we lost Todd.  My life is busy with walking dogs (which is really hiking with them in the woods so they can run around freely and play), meeting up with friends who do the same thing, feeding cats, and being involved with a search team for a lost dog in my town.  I do tell him to plan a trip and I'll go, but since losing Todd, he's not the same in that respect.  He always loved planning our trips. 

Happy Birthday. Thank you for posting this note to make me stop and think.  My thoughts and prayers are with your coworker.   Janet

At 10:30am on March 22, 2011, Shari Soklow said…

Dear Jeff,

I was thinking about you and wonder how you are doing? I hope you

are able to find some peace in the loss of your Beloved Son.

We are all in the same boat here, and it seems to me that sometimes

we just have to live moment by moment and not think to much.

My prayers to you and all the others. Shari

At 9:04pm on March 21, 2011, shannon churchill said…
I'm going to need lots of prayers when I get the strength to go.   Thank you for telling me about your experience with it.  It means so much to me.   I get strength from all of you in hearing how you managed to deal with it.   I saw you were going on a Vacation..  I hope your family time brings comfort.Delete Comment
At 10:16am on March 19, 2011, Terri Kuta said…

Thanks Jeff:  Like your son there are so many unanswered questions about his death, we knew jonathan was drinking and doing pot, he was in drug counseling about both and seemed to be doing alot better, if this had been on a weekend middle of the night it still would kill us but would make more sense but a 17 year old boy who at 2:30 was sober at my house and at 3:40 was dead 500ft from my house 3 1/2 times the legal limit if he was 21 is what is so hard to understand I know kids get alcohol all the time but as I have said many time he had to be a work at 5 and knew he would be fired if he came in drunk and had a date with a girl he liked since 7th grade so something isn't right and we probably will never know, along with the man who was following my son and never called 911 but let him stop in front of 2 policeofficers to let buses out from a elementary school and saw him talking to them but never said anything to the police until my son drove away, we think now that is what caused everything they had 4 police cars after jonathan 2 behind him 2 in front of him to stop him they all knew him from school we think he heard the sirens and freaked out and went into the turning lane for our street to soon trying to get home and not get caught drinking and driving, if this man would have just told the police when they were at the stop my son would still be alive, but instead like everyone hear we live this nightmare everyday, somedays better than others but somedays its just to much to bear. 

 

Terri 

At 10:32am on March 18, 2011, Shari Soklow said…

Dear Jeff,

Thank you for your kind words to me, yes the holidays are horrible

when you have lost your child!

Shari

At 9:10am on March 16, 2011, shannon churchill said…
Jeff, I like what Shari has posted below..  if we didn't feel we could never talk to them it would be worse than just believing we can and talking to them anyway!  :)  
At 5:13pm on March 15, 2011, Shari Soklow said…

Dear Jeff,

Talk with your son, Jeff, just as though he were in the next room.

Speak to him as if nothing had happened and all was fine. I promise

you that after a while you will feel his presense. He is safe now, he is at

peace now, his new life is more real than yours is! Please don't think your friend Shari is crazy, I write of a truth that was proven to me. Our loved ones, all of them, are closer to us than we can imagine!

They live, in a different vibration, it is like trying to watch TV through the radio! I miss my own son terribly and I long for his physical presense as I

know you do yours. It can no longer be, but he has only lost his outer garment, his body, while he, his personality, his humor, his thoughts, his

consciousness are alive and well and you will be able in the future to learn to communicate with him in a transphysical way. Someday you will meet

again, not now, now you must honor his living memory by trying very hard to make the best of lifes most profound sorrow, this I know, is what true Hell is! You can do this because you are strong and courageous.

We all must do this because that is what our children want and wish for us.

I'm thinking of you, praying for you...your friend, shari

 

At 2:24am on March 15, 2011, Shari Soklow said…

Dear Jeff,

I just wanted to thank you again for taking the time to visit my website and your kind comments. Also I wonder how you are doing lately as far as coping with the loss of your Beloved Son? You Jeff,  just like the others, are in my thoughts and prayers. May God Bless us all with the strength and courage we all need to carry on with our lives after such horrific losses!

Your New Friend,  Shari

At 7:51pm on March 14, 2011, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…
Jeff I too am always thinking of my son Logan. My husband does not grieve the same, in fact he says nothing and it makes it very hard for me because I just want to talk about Logan. It has been 5 months but it feels just like yesterday. It seems like it is getting harder instead of more bearable. My Logan was 32 and living in Viet Nam. It's been a very hard journey for all of us here but I do believe we can help each other as we travel on. Big hugs too you. Macs
At 6:58pm on March 14, 2011, Tim's Mom, Vickie said…

Hi Jeff, I'm sorry for the loss of your son.  I know it's been hard for you and your family. For 3 months after Tim passed, I simply sat on the couch and cried.  My husband would try to get me to do stuff, shopping, yard work, go for a ride, but I felt stuck, like I couldn't move. It's almost 2 years now and I have started working, but I still feel stuck. I mentioned to another friend here that it feels like I'm waiting to exhale.

  Tim shared your sons love of cats.  He had huge hands and would hold kittens in them and it was just so heartwarming to see the gentle side of him.  He would talk to them and basically be their caretaker. He had a heart of gold that was bigger than himself.

  You and the rest of our friends here will always be joined by the hole in our hearts. 

  *hugs* to you and your family.

At 8:33pm on March 12, 2011, Diane Hood said…
I know how you feel Jeff Since Andy's passing I just don't think life will ever be like it was, I do have three other children and they have been very good at keeping me going but it just takes time, with me not living in the same city with my children sometimes I find myself waiting on Andy's call I finally took his cell phone number out of my phone my husband thought I should and I finally  did it but I know what you mean andy in my heart is still very much alive but I do understand that his physical pressence is no longer with us..................
At 1:46pm on March 12, 2011, valerie moore said…
jeff,  this journey  we are on is full of bad weeks, bad days, bad anything.  my son has been gone 1 yr   6 mos, and by turning my life over to God, i have had some peaceful days.  i know my son is in paradise. if i hadnt found a great church i probably would not be around,  i have a purpose now, and that is to speak to teenagers about my story with dusty.  i have my first story to tell at my church for the teenage sunday school at the end of this month.  praying for your family.  just take the bad days and take one step at at time and know you are loved by all of us here.   valerie
At 9:01am on March 11, 2011, shannon churchill said…
I have been told that the hole in my heart is where I should carry my Tommy.  You know when you take a deep breath and make your mind go blank and feel nothing but peace,,,, free of thought...yesterday... I was riding my bike and I thought... I would lke to pack my bags and move into that space.. because I think my Tommy is there.    
At 11:49pm on March 8, 2011, Shari Soklow said…

Dear Jeff,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Beloved Son and believe me all the feelings

you are having are quite normal as I too am suffering with the loss of my son! At times I can't concentrate either and I just sit and stare into space!

Here are some words of comfort for you and all of us!

If we didn't love so much, we wouldn't hurt as much, but goodness knows we don't want to change that precious love one fraction of an ounce, so yes we will hurt and we will also be in some strange way, even grateful for the hurt because that hurt bares witness to the depths of our meanings!  I Love You ALL And Pray For All Of Us!

 

At 11:08pm on March 7, 2011, Terri Kuta said…

Jeff:

I also have a hard time conentrating, mine seems to be worse than yours, I will find myself in one room and have no idea why im there or someone will say something about what happened last week and i truthly don't remember, my doctor has me on depression and zanax she is trying to get my zanax down to one a day she thinks that might be part of my problem, some days one will do it and somedays it won't but I know without the medicine i can't function at all, and everyone says the first year is the easiest if this is easy what are we going to do this november when our first anniversary comes up.  I wish you the best on your trip its weird some things that I think will bother me is fine and then something out of nowhere comes up and I go to pieces, my husband has invited my 13 year old cousin to come and spend spring break with us without asking me I don't think Im ready for a teenage boy in my house yet, even though Jonathan was 17 I don't know what next week will hold.  Thanks for writing I read your comments and I know your son is so proud of you.

At 11:08pm on March 7, 2011, Terri Kuta said…

Jeff:

I also have a hard time conentrating, mine seems to be worse than yours, I will find myself in one room and have no idea why im there or someone will say something about what happened last week and i truthly don't remember, my doctor has me on depression and zanax she is trying to get my zanax down to one a day she thinks that might be part of my problem, some days one will do it and somedays it won't but I know without the medicine i can't function at all, and everyone says the first year is the easiest if this is easy what are we going to do this november when our first anniversary comes up.  I wish you the best on your trip its weird some things that I think will bother me is fine and then something out of nowhere comes up and I go to pieces, my husband has invited my 13 year old cousin to come and spend spring break with us without asking me I don't think Im ready for a teenage boy in my house yet, even though Jonathan was 17 I don't know what next week will hold.  Thanks for writing I read your comments and I know your son is so proud of you.

At 10:21am on March 7, 2011, shannon churchill said…

Jeff,  I have noticed you have  given support and inspiring words to so many on this page...  Thank God for people like you.   I know we are on this page together... but we so walk alone in this agony.   Yesterday I could not stop crying...  I just continued to function with tears falling all day.   I miss Tommy so much... I miss his beautiful smile and silly personality.  What happened to your son was nothing that you could have done to change.  The angels were there to take him, and I know that that was the same for my Tommy.     Only, if he had called me, I could have advised him what to do in that situation.   I can't get past how senseless it was that he is gone.  Maybe I will know some day why it happened like that.  For now.. the only comfort I get is through people like you and others on this page.  I have gone to theropy and nothing comes from that.   Hugs to you.  Shannon

At 9:05am on March 6, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Jeff,  Your son also looks like such a fine young man.  What a coincidence how both of our sons loved cats!  Todd had that same nurturing feeling towards cats, and he loved all of God's creatures, big and small, as you can see by the t-shirt he is wearing in the picture. 

Aren't animals wonderful?  I can just picture your son's cat Ben trying to get Kip to play, with her wondering "Shouldn't you be leaving soon"?    And little Gizmo following you around the house everywhere....it makes me smile to think of how much Todd would have enjoyed picturing all of this.  He tried to make a little video of one of our cats, Jake, opening the cabinet door where the cans of cat food were stored. Jake did this at least 3 times a day.  Of course, Jake wouldn't cooperate with the movie-making, probably thinking, "why should I open the door when you're right here to do it"?  Jake used to open the cabinet door and his brother Timothy, who was a little bigger and stronger, would push the cans of cat food or bag of dry food onto the kitchen floor.  They worked together like a team.  One day we came home after being out most of the day and they had a bag of dry food half way down the corridor to the bedroom, with food everywhere.  The look in their eyes of complete innocence when they saw us was priceless!  And these two were fed on demand, so it made it funnier that they would act this way.  Todd had brought them home when he found them in a friend's apartment on moving day, apparently left behind by the people who had moved out.  They were just kittens then, all alone in a big apartment.  They were very hungry and probably never forgot that feeling.

Hope you have as peaceful a day as possible.  I'll keep thinking of all of the positive things our sons did in this world and hope they can enjoy talking with each other now about the funny things their cats would do.      Janet

 

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