Jeff Justus's Comments

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At 9:14am on March 5, 2011, Shari Soklow said…

Dear Jeff,

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my Memorial Website for my Beloved Son Howard. What you wrote about our children meeting on the

other side brought me great comfort. God should only bless you with good health and peace. Thank you for the gift of your friendship.  

 

Shari

At 1:26pm on March 4, 2011, shannon churchill said…

Jeff,  Have you read the book The Shack?  I read it shortly after Tommy passed and for a couple of day's I felt really good.   Almost happy and looking forward to my day to be with Tommy.    I am looking forward to that day.  My poor baby was found in a ditch on a cold Christmas afternoon.   Now that is one wonderful Christmas present for him and the entire community.   God bless your soul.   Try that book if you have not yet.  

It may help.  Shannon

At 12:42pm on March 1, 2011, Lindsay said…

Thank you Jeff~ I don't know how all of us here are surviving. I really cannot imagine the rest of my life, as I am sure you don't. I wake up with a knot in my stomach and short of breath just knowing that another day is going to pass without my dear baby. Just two more months and it will be a year since my little girl died. I just can't imagine how I am going to make it. This past week I have been a wreck. Thank you for your kind words, it helps to know that there are people who have been there and are surviving.

 

Lindsay

At 7:01am on February 28, 2011, cathy riley said…
Hi Jeff,  thank you for your kind words and support.  Christopher was my only child.  I have two step-childern and they have three childern and one more on the way.  It is so hard somethimes to see them all together, because I will never get to experince my son getting married or having childern.  They all love me and have stood by me through this time.  Christopher was killed on 9/25/2010, while away at college.  I am hoping after he has been gone a year and we have been through every holiday and every season that things will get alittle better.  Talk to you soon, Cathy(Chris' Mom)
At 10:08pm on February 27, 2011, shannon churchill said…
Such a beautiful son you have.   He has to be where my Tommy is.   They look like the type of boys that would really have fun together.   Tommy had a way of making people feel good about themselves, and his easy going personality and acceptance of everyone just the way they were made him really very easy to warm up to.    God has to have fun with these guys, and I am sure with heaven being so much better than where we are... they are having a ball.  It is hard to let go of our children...  We have given them to our FATHER, their father, who loves them even more than we do (if that is possible)   We will be with them soon enough.  Eternity  is a long time compared to our mist of a time on earth. 
At 3:40am on February 26, 2011, Lauree Lage said…
Hi Jeff just touching base with you to see how your class has been going. Do you feel like it's helping? I finished mine and it did help some but I do realize that the reality of my situation isn't going to Change no matter what I do or don't do.
At 12:47am on February 26, 2011, Linda Sacquety said…
Sorry to hear about your friends loved one and Im sure hearing this accelerated your sadness even more.  They will need you to be near to talk to and just be with.  Even with this site I feel better knowing everyone is just like me and going to the same feelings, I am not alone.  My Darline's 33rd birthday is Tues Mar 1.  Used to be such a wonderful celebratory time.  Her sisters birthday is Mar 7 (she is 2 years and  week younger) and she doesnt even want to celebrate her birthday without her sister.  They always celebrated together.  Amazing how our lives change isnt it?
At 7:41pm on February 25, 2011, Cathy Pearly said…

Jeff, I am so sorry to hear about your friends daughter.  It is so much harder to hear news like that now that we KNOW firsthand what they are going through isn't it?  I know it is going to be really hard for you to go to that viewing and funeral....you will remember your sons, and well...I couldn't do it myself...I am sending you big hugs for support...and a big hug for the parents of this poor 23 year olds parents...from one parent who lost a child to them..

At 5:22pm on February 21, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
You have such a positive attitude Jeff. I wish I could feel as upbeat as u sound! 
At 5:22pm on February 21, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
You have such a positive attitude Jeff. I wish I could feel as upbeat as u sound! 
At 10:16am on February 21, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…

Such a coincidence, your son and your friends' daughter and my son and then, three weeks later, my close friend's son.  Another friend I've met here on this web site had many happy memories in New England with her son too, and feels the same way about coming back to visit...it would be too painful.  It's snowing right now and very pretty on the trees.  Seeing my Siberian Husky playing in the snow always helps me feel better, at least for a little while.  Todd was a cat person because we adopted a kitten when he was 3 and they grew up together.   Many years later when our cat passed at age 16, Todd came home with two orphaned kittens a few months later.  They lived even longer than our first one.  When Todd heard me talking about the dogs I take hiking in the woods, he would joke, "I think you're crossing over to the other side"  :)   But he loved all living creatures.  He couldn't resist dogs with their unconditional love.  He couldn't kill an ant....he would carry them outside; might sound funny but I do the same thing.

I'm grateful for the time we had with our wonderful son, but the pain of losing him is almost too much to bear.  Wishing you and your wife as peaceful a day as possible.    Janet

At 7:42am on February 19, 2011, Janet - Todd's Mom said…
I am so sorry for the loss of your friends' daughter.  Three weeks after my son died on June 8, 2009, I received a phone call telling me that a very close friend of mine had lost her son, who was 37 yrs. old and felt his life wasn't going anywhere.  He died from an overdose.  I couldn't believe it happened to such a good friend only weeks after my son died from complications of pneumonia.  Never knew there could be so much heartache in this world, which seemed so wonderful before Todd died.  Even writing those last two words is extremely painful.
At 8:18pm on February 15, 2011, Melinda Ellen Guinn said…
Thank you Jeff. That's so sweet. Sadly I have to wait to be w/Candace again. I'm glad time moves quickly for her! I don't want her to miss her girls too much. That's the sad part. 
At 11:44pm on February 14, 2011, Linda Sacquety said…

Only 2 more hours till another holiday is over.  Holidays bring back all memories of traditions we had with our lost loved ones.  I have always had a scavenger hunt for my girls.  I would get 10 small items for them and have notes all over the house and outside making them search of each gift.  They had so much fun doing it and we even continued it into their adulthood.  A special day for all of us....so sad today.

 

You lost your son on the 17th.  Do you get especially sad every month on the 17th?  Darline died on June 17th and I find myself even more down on those days, even on Wednesdays, the day she passed.  Wonder if any of this will ever get easier.

 

You spoke of your sisters strength while she was dying of cancer.  My daughter had a Caring Bridge site.  I think it is still on the website but I copied it and in reading it I saw such strength in her knowing she wasnt going to make it.  Her maturity at age 31 she was quite a remarkable young woman.  Miss her soooooooo much.

At 11:50am on February 14, 2011, Ann said…

Dear Jeff,

My son Michael also loved tall tees and American Eagle.  For his birthday i bought a black and white tee from American Eagle and wore it to his balloon release.  His birthday is 6-28, right around July 4 and it was one of those special ones for that holiday.  His dad had nicknamed him El Aguila or the Eagle because all his kids(my son's half brothers) had animal nicknames in Spanish, and that shirt has a soaring American eagle on it.  His grave marker has Isaiah 40:31 on it....."for those who trust in the Lord.....shall soar on wings as eagles.". Guess I'm obsessed because I still havent done anything to his room or with his clothes.  At 21 he had come back home to live and I was so happy to have him there. I live alone so no one to boss me around and I just haven't had the heart to change anything yet(it's been almost 15 months). Prayers for your sweet son and hugs to you,

Ann.....Michael's mom

At 12:25am on February 14, 2011, Linda Sacquety said…

Hi Jeff,

Thank you so much for answering me and I guess when it comes down to it there are NO answers for our questions, are there?  How do we explain anything that we are feeling and going through and each and everyone of us are different people and express things differently or not at all.

 

I understand what you say about friends not knowing what to say.  We have friends who we havent even heard a word from since my daughters memorial.  Why??  I think you are right, they dont know what to say and feel guilty because everything is good with their families.  Well, I will never be like that, people with a loss such as ours has taught me that we need our friends and family even more.  A simple note in the mail, phone call, quick text lets us know they still care.

 

Ryan was a lucky boy to have such wonderful parents, does your wife ever get on this site and talk to others, it may help her, if not I'm glad you do.  We are all here to help each other.  Take care

At 9:17pm on February 12, 2011, Linda Sacquety said…

Dear Jeff,

I have a question for you.  Your are able to talk about your son and your feelings about his death.  My husband wont talk about our precious daughter and I dont know how to get him to open up.  When I have a melt down and cry and express my feelings, he says "I know honey" and thats it.  I really need him to talk to me, he wont go for professional help either.  I just wonder if you have any suggestions , when I question him he just says he doesnt need to talk about her.

At 8:44pm on February 10, 2011, BONNIE said…

Dear Jeff,

I am very sorry about your son. That was a Thursday. My daughter was run over by a tractor trailer on Nov. 16  a day I will never forget.

I did not get to have an open casket or even embalm  her since she was taken so violently.

I can't imagine how much more tragic it would have been if I found her and got to see her lifeless body. I know it is new and such a shock.

My heard goes out to you and your family.

-Bonnie

At 12:43pm on February 8, 2011, valerie moore said…
dear jeff, thank you for sharing.  i started the griefshare class last night.  it is a bible based grief study that is all around the USA.  there are 6 of us, none have lost a child.  we have all lost a loved one, but the grief is just a different grief.  i too, began going to a wonderful, small church before the holidays.  i just could not go during the holidays and listen to the christmas music.  i have been back now for about 5 weeks, and i know personally,  that only God can help me realized that it is possible to feel joy after a horrible tragedy that we all have suffered.  instead of having all bad days,  i am having some good days. i have had a very limited amount of support following my sons passing and coming to this site helps me to feel like i am definately not alone and i am thankful for people like you , jeff, you take the time to listen and answer back.  have a blessed day,  hugs,  valerie
At 12:43pm on February 8, 2011, valerie moore said…
dear jeff, thank you for sharing.  i started the griefshare class last night.  it is a bible based grief study that is all around the USA.  there are 6 of us, none have lost a child.  we have all lost a loved one, but the grief is just a different grief.  i too, began going to a wonderful, small church before the holidays.  i just could not go during the holidays and listen to the christmas music.  i have been back now for about 5 weeks, and i know personally,  that only God can help me realized that it is possible to feel joy after a horrible tragedy that we all have suffered.  instead of having all bad days,  i am having some good days. i have had a very limited amount of support following my sons passing and coming to this site helps me to feel like i am definately not alone and i am thankful for people like you , jeff, you take the time to listen and answer back.  have a blessed day,  hugs,  valerie

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