Hi Deb, Nice to met you.  I dont want to be here,on such a sad page, but I am. I hope you are doing ok. As for me I am not. As we are all sad on this page, life as we knew it, is gone forever.

it is very hard when people expect us to just move on....how can we move on when our heart is left in the past?
I say it this way, “time moves and we are carrried with time, and we carry that love with us, but we dont MOVE ON” 

Its so hard for me to grieve alone, no one understands how each day  im depressed in mind, spirit and even my body moves slowy. 

Deb, thinking of you today. Be strong, and remember the good times. You will be together again one day, and then it will be forever. David (Bernie's dad).

deb bobby will be with you am sure.its such a great time to celebrate your love for your daughter and be happy even if it just for a day.have wonderful time.your son would not want anything to spoil her day.so just try and have peace and fun with your family.congrats

I know that your son had passed the day before my son under similar circumstances but I don't recall your son's story. Did he show any signs? Were you present?? If you feel up to it, could you give me details on your son's passing. The 16th of Nov was my son's last day at work. When I went to his apartment I could piece his final day through text on his cell phone, conversation with his girl friend and receipts laying around is apartment.

My wife and I paid for my son's funeral expenses so the court awarded us his assets. I drive his Mustang convertible during the warm months. I just feel so close to him when I'm in his car. I didn't touch any of his stuff, just cleaned his car as needed. I can find little things in the car storage compartments that I'll look at some times but it goes back to where he had it.

I had to pack up his apartment and I've got his personnel stuff packed in a storage rental. When I go over to this storage, I feel his presence so much. I'll pull a shirt out of the plastic container and it has that smell that reminds me of him. My wife and I took his dirty clothes and put them in a plastic bag in our basement. I'll pull them out at times and I can still smell his cologne. He never caused me a minute of headache in his life and I'm grateful that I got along with him every single day of his life.

When my son was born, I had a job where I worked 6 days on and three days off. Many of my three days were week days where my wife worked and we were home together. I was pretty young myself but it was such a joy watching him grow. I think men in general are a little less mature and when my wife was the mature parent I could be doofy with him and he enjoyed that.

Thanks for being available to communicate. This site allows me the chance to express my feelings when my friends and siblings don't seem to want to hear about them. Take care!               Jeff

Hi Deb....yes I see the tech people removed her right away.  Well on my page she said she, " liked what I wrote and wanted to get to know me better and would I send her my personal email address and she would send me a picture of her so we could get to know each other".....now is that creepy or what?  They removed her and blocked her from getting in again.

Why oh why do these people do this??? 

Thank you Deb.  I'm hoping to find some peace and consolulation here and to offer any thing my experience and journey can offer others.

i hit the wrong number dec 13 2010

hi my name is melinda im new here i lost my brother Robert to suicide in Dec 13 2011 it is the hardest thing and a nightmare i feel like il never wake out off im so sorry for your lose

Hi Deb, So nice hearing from you. I sent you a regular email but it all didn't go through. I know we got Father's Day coming soon too and Mother's Day is so hard. . Always nice hearing from you . Hug.s Garry.

Deb, thanks for asking me to be on your friends list. I really don't know how to do that. LOL Oh well. That's what my Joe use to say.

I have to put drops of lavender on my pillow. It is something to help me relax and sleep. I purchased it at a health food store. It organic extract and smells so nice. For fifteen dollars I can tell you it's well worth it.

With Love,

Barbara

Dearest Deb,

There is not much to understand other than things just happen.  No special reasons - sometimes good and sometimes bad.  We have to support each other the best that we can because we are all that there is.  I hope the passage of time helps us to cope with life and get some happiness. 

I am just so glad to find someone like me who cannot believe any "God" would let this kind of suffering happen. 

All my love, good thoughts and human strength that I can muster up I send to you, Ilona

Honored to be your friend on our site.  I love my tattoo also.  I have another one I got last year in December.  It takes the focus away from being so sad.

If I can find my first one I will post but I really like this one as I can see it, the other is on my front hip.  Didn't know what people might think about it but after 2yrs I really don't care what they think....it's for me!!!

Thanks for the well wishes and yes we all have to hang together!!

susan

Dearest Deb, you are in my thoughts and prayers today.  What incredible friends Bobby has, and what great love they obviously have for him to arrange a memorial event.  I pray you will feel totally engulfed in that love when you are there in the midst of all that love, and I pray you will feel Bobby there in the midst of all of it.

This week was harder for me.  I bit onto the guilt hook again.  Very painful blaming myself.  And I told God I'm angry with him too.  I hate that these things come back on me with no notice and that this is what I have to look forward to for a long time to come.

I have emotional support for the most part, but the support I was speaking of are the things you are putting in place in your own life for when family support isn't enough; things such as grief recovery groups (like this one here, but in 3D!).  Also, I have been reading a wonderfully helpful book that I got from one of the lending libraries of the Compassionate Friends group that I attend.  It's called "The Worst Loss : How Families Heal from the Death of a Child" by Barbara D. Rosof.  If you like to read, I really recommend this book.  You might be able to find it in your local library.  It's helping me to understand my grief and normalize and validate it.  Unfortunately, though, it hasn't helped to relieve the guilt feelings yet.  It talks about that, but my self-recrimination runs deep.  I'm doing okay, though.  Typical stuff, ya know?  Glad you're doing better.  How is that Dream Water working out for you?