Rick Feldman's Comments

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At 8:46am on December 4, 2010, Kelly ~ Caitlin's mom said…: Rick;
I'm sorry for your loss and in such a horrific way. I hope and pray that in some way justice will be served for your son. I lost my 16 year old daughter in 2008. It was ahorse back riding accident so totally differnet circumstances. She too was an honor student and a truly good, caring compassionate human being. I had so many hopes for her future and mine as her mother, hopefully meddling mother-in-law and grandmother some day. I feel robbed for her and myself. My young daugher lost her only sister and my oldest son just became lost. I am angry for several reasons and let it consume me for a while. Do not let it take over your life. I know these wounds are so fresh for you and I will pray for your continued strength. There are many here ready to listen and help you as best they can. Take care. Be well.

At 11:24pm on December 3, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…: Rick,

Yes, the alone times are always the absolute worst...I long to have them, then dread it when I do...it is amazing what we can torture ourselves with when given a little bit of time to ourselves isn't it? I agree that your son deserves justice, and I hope that once that happens you will be able to come to peace with your anger and let it go. How lucky you are to have two other children....and you are a good man for thinking of them first over your own feelings of loss. Don't let your anger get in the way of enjoying those blessings. Jake was my only child, and I have recently been allowed to have visits with his 2 rottweillers who his girlfriend kept, and would not allow us to see. They are going to be living with me full time by the end of the year, and I am so happy to have even that small piece of my precious mumpkin. I am sending smiles your way for a happy tomorrow.

At 11:24pm on December 3, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…: Rick,

Yes, the alone times are always the absolute worst...I long to have them, then dread it when I do...it is amazing what we can torture ourselves with when given a little bit of time to ourselves isn't it? I agree that your son deserves justice, and I hope that once that happens you will be able to come to peace with your anger and let it go. How lucky you are to have two other children....and you are a good man for thinking of them first over your own feelings of loss. Don't let your anger get in the way of enjoying those blessings. Jake was my only child, and I have recently been allowed to have visits with his 2 rottweillers who his girlfriend kept, and would not allow us to see. They are going to be living with me full time by the end of the year, and I am so happy to have even that small piece of my precious mumpkin. I am sending smiles your way for a happy tomorrow.

At 2:36pm on December 3, 2010, JoAnn Brozowski said…: Hi Rick - I lost my 24 year old son Tyler, my only child, in January of this year. Ironically, there is a very similar story as yours that has been played out in Pleasantville NY this fall. Commotion outside a club. Three college students go to their car to exit the scene. Police officer claims they tried to ram him and fired shots into the car, killing the driver. I know the pain of losing a child is unbearable no matter what the circumstances, but I am certain your circumstances just compound the situation. Thinking about you and your son.
JoAnn
Forever Tyler's Mom

At 1:59pm on December 3, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…: READ THIS AFTER THE ONE BELOW..I WAS A LITTLE LONG WINDED...IT HAPPENS!
Work through it the best you can and know that we are all here for you anytime...day or night...say anything...rage, vent, cry, scream, yell...just let it out...we will never judge and we will never not be here for you.

At 1:57pm on December 3, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…: Rick, Wow. What a way to lose a child. I often times think I was lucky that my only child Jake was taken from me in an accident that I have been told killed him instantly...very Odd for me to say I feel lucky at that right? To clarify, I am lucky that he did not suffer. I am lucky that it was so fast there wasn't time to process the pain or the trees his body broke as he flew through the air...I have to believe that this is what happened. To lose a child so violently the way you did is incomprehensible to me. The anger you feel is quite normal....I Was angry and Jake was the one responsible for his own death....but anger will only get you so far...the need for vengence will not help you in your grief process...I know it wil remain a part of you for a very long time to come, but at some point you will have to let it go. You will not be able to heal until you can let go of your anger...The injustice of how your son was taken from you is an added cruelty to a devastating loss...but when all is said and done, even when those that are responsible are held accountable, your precious Zac will still be gone. Im sorry if I am hurting you by pointing this out, it is not my intention at all, I am only hoping to help even in some teeny way....I know that anger and guilt will eat away at you....if not consciously while you are awake, it will work through you at night subconsciously....keeping you up and restless..working away at you...my husband took his life in July of this year...after 3.5 years without our son, he couldn't take it anymore, and left me completely alone...he thought of nothing but himself..and that made me so freaking angry...and then the guilt that I knew he wanted to die, and couldn't stop him..oh Rick it just ate away at me until I was mad every moment of every day...and couldn't show it outwardly as I have a job and need to function..but the nights...well that is when it was the worst...I had to get help, and I did......Don't keep it to yourself.