Christine Blaire's Comments

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At 9:57pm on November 21, 2017, David Heggi said…

Oh Chris,
Please don't do this. Even I believe there has to be something better for us. I see myself in your heartache. sometimes I am so helpless in my own world of hurt I think that I can't possibly be of help to anyone else. But I have to; it is the mandate of every caring human being. Please wait this out a little longer. My baby sisters name was Chris. I raised her from infancy as our father was physically abusive and beat up my mother and us every night.
She too did not see any reason to continue and so did not take care of herself. She died more than 2 years ago, leaving huge holes in all of our hearts. It was a tragic unfinished life that I do not want to see in my commitment as a friend to you. She was only 53.
Please wait it out a little longer. maybe we will both look back on this and know what the purpose of our suffering was. I couldn't go to bed tonight knowing of your unbearable pain and not try to comfort you. Let me be your bridge over troubled waters.
Love and Hugs,
David H

At 5:02pm on November 21, 2017, David Heggi said…

Dear Christine,

I read your message.  It broke my heart as I am in the same place.  I'm 67 and don't feel I have 2 minutes more, let alone years. My well-meaning family and friends have said all the words that, for all practical purposes, feel like just more crap.  It might be OK, and even normal to be cynical in this stage of our grief - after all, how can anyone understand.?

I have pills too, and even a stash, but not for a plan to end my life; I believe that it will come naturally of a broken heart. Still, I want you to hang on.  Like what a therapist asked me many years ago " Don't you want to at least see how this (my life) all plays out?" I didn't have an answer, I couldn't have - the now was too critical for any kind of reflection, any luxury of time that everyone else seemed to have.  Be my friend in this, Christine;  we will try together. OK?

Hugs 

David H

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