CINDY POWELL's Comments

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At 9:24pm on February 9, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, Did you get any snow or ice that's hitting Texas? My father-in-law lives in Kerrville and he's had the real cold temps there. This crappy weather doesn't help us, does it? I don't even think nice weather would help us. It's been almost 4 months since Jim's been gone, and it hasn't gotten any easier. I still cry myself to sleep. Do you have any pets? I have 2 dogs. One is a golden retriever, the other one is a golden/afghan mix. I feel the same way about my house, who cares if it's messy. Take care Cindy. I'm so tired right now that I feel like I'm a zombie. I'll talk later when I can make sense. Hugs to you.
At 11:53pm on February 5, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, Jim was diagnosed stage 2 lung cancer in Dec.2009. Had his left lung removed Jan.5 2010. 2 rounds of chemo,threw a blood clot at his port. Mar.14,they removed the port. Mar.17 I rushed him to the hospital, the blood clot went to his remaining lung, blocking 2/3 of it. 2 wks I.C.U. June 1,they found a mass at the base of his spine. Surgery, 1 month of radiation, numerous stays at the hospital, then more chemo. Sept 20, they told us the cancer was responding to the chemo. 2 wks. later, back in the hospital with pneumonia. Only it wasn't pneumonia. Cancer went crazy. Hit his liver, his lung etc. Lost him Oct.22.  I miss Jim so much. I am not the person I was before. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. My house is not clean like it used to be. Half the time I don't wear make-up because I don't care what I look like anymore. I just want to be with Jim. I'm sorry Cindy, just a rough nite. After 38 yrs of being Jim's wife, I don't like being his widow.  Please take care of yourself, maybe we can get through this.My thoughts and prayers are with you.
At 11:53pm on February 5, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, Jim was diagnosed stage 2 lung cancer in Dec.2009. Had his left lung removed Jan.5 2010. 2 rounds of chemo,threw a blood clot at his port. Mar.14,they removed the port. Mar.17 I rushed him to the hospital, the blood clot went to his remaining lung, blocking 2/3 of it. 2 wks I.C.U. June 1,they found a mass at the base of his spine. Surgery, 1 month of radiation, numerous stays at the hospital, then more chemo. Sept 20, they told us the cancer was responding to the chemo. 2 wks. later, back in the hospital with pneumonia. Only it wasn't pneumonia. Cancer went crazy. Hit his liver, his lung etc. Lost him Oct.22.  I miss Jim so much. I am not the person I was before. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. My house is not clean like it used to be. Half the time I don't wear make-up because I don't care what I look like anymore. I just want to be with Jim. I'm sorry Cindy, just a rough nite. After 38 yrs of being Jim's wife, I don't like being his widow.  Please take care of yourself, maybe we can get through this.My thoughts and prayers are with you.
At 11:10pm on February 5, 2011, Susan Mayer said…

Hi Cindy,

I'm glad to hear from you; it's been a hard week.  The snow - 20 inches! - makes it hard to get around, and then I had a stomach virus early in the week.  Diarrhea and vomiting - the whole nine yards.  Fortunately, a couple of friends brought me jello, popsicles, and ginger ale, and I'm feeling better now.

A week ago today, I celebrated my birthday, the first without Steve.  It was hard, although I went to dinner and a play with a friend whose birthday is close to mine, and that was nice.  Still, it was painful; Steve and I always took each other to dinner at one of the city's top restaurants for birthdays.  An annual indulgence.  I missed him terribly this year.

Sounds like you've got a rough month in front of you, what with all the significant dates.  You already know it will be hard, but try to remind yourself that February (and its horrible weather) will pass.  I find I may have to remind myself of that hourly these days just to keep myself going.  I am aware that even Texas has been getting snow; Ellen told me Houston got hit, so I figured Waco did, too.  Cabin fever makes it harder for me to keep my spirits up, and I miss Steve all the more.  It wouldn't be so bad, being snowbound with him.  I work from home, which makes it even harder, although given the piles of snow everywhere, perhaps I shouldn't complain.  Still, spring can't come too soon for me.  It won't chase the grief away, but maybe it will improve our moods a bit.  Let's hope so.  Take care of yourself - and stay warm!

At 6:45am on February 4, 2011, Kathy King Kates said…
thank you so much for thinking of me Cindy. Yes, this is a difficult month for both of us. I hope you are "managing" okay. I am having so many family situations I don't have time to even think of Bill except to wish he was right here beside me helping me thru all this "turmoil". Going to visit brother in PA tonight (cancer) and then to Alabama Monday cus dad is dying. One thing after another. Luckily my sister lives close and we are traveling together so thats a big help for both of us not being totally alone going thru this more death situation. Take care. Sorry I don't know if I will have computer or not. Taking laptop for hotel tomorrow for sure but none in Alabama unless at hospital. Will be back when I can. hugs
At 6:45am on February 4, 2011, Kathy King Kates said…
thank you so much for thinking of me Cindy. Yes, this is a difficult month for both of us. I hope you are "managing" okay. I am having so many family situations I don't have time to even think of Bill except to wish he was right here beside me helping me thru all this "turmoil". Going to visit brother in PA tonight (cancer) and then to Alabama Monday cus dad is dying. One thing after another. Luckily my sister lives close and we are traveling together so thats a big help for both of us not being totally alone going thru this more death situation. Take care. Sorry I don't know if I will have computer or not. Taking laptop for hotel tomorrow for sure but none in Alabama unless at hospital. Will be back when I can. hugs
At 10:42pm on January 25, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, I talked to Ellen tonite and I told her that you are thinking of her. She says hi. She goes in for her 3rd surgery tomorrow. I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. Must be something in the air, because I am not doing too well either. I miss Jim so much, I still can't believe he's gone. I know he is, but it's so hard to deal with. I started a support group last Thurs. We'll see if that helps. I still wish we all lived close by so we could watch out for each other, go for coffee etc. As long as I'm wishing, I wish that we had our husbands back and that they were healthy. Take care of yourself Cindy, we will get through this somehow, sometime. Hugs to you.
At 6:33am on January 25, 2011, kathy obiedzinski said…
cindy: i to do not have many friends that was my choice. i also have a small familymy daughter in law has a very large family george would be turning 62 on 1/28  hope i will get thru that day. i am just trying to keep busy day by day i have not spoken to ellen because of the shower you take it easy and if you every want to talk you know where i am hugs
At 1:58pm on January 24, 2011, kathy obiedzinski said…
HI CINDY HOW ARE YOU DOING? CINDY REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU WE DO NOT JUDGE WE LISTEN LIKE WE WOULD LIKE OTHERS TO LISTEN TO US NOTHING NEW HERE TAKING DAY BY DAY I GUESS THAT IS ALL I CAN DO. GOING NUTS PUTTING ON A BABY SHOWER FOR MY DAUGHTER IN LAW NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH THERE IS TO DO. MY OTHER DAUGHTER IN LAW IS HELPING SHE IS YOUNGER AND HAS EXPERIENCE. SHE DOES IT FOR EVERYONE JUST DID THIS FOR HER SISTER YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
At 9:29pm on January 15, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, Anytime you want to vent, scream, cry --- I'm here. I'll be an Ellen substitute until she gets back here. She would laugh at that! I think this hurt we are feeling will never go away, so don't think it's not normal to still be hurting now. Cindy, we have to learn how to live without our husbands. I hate that. I will be here anytime. Take care. Hugs to you.
At 10:05pm on January 13, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, I miss Ellen!!! I just tried to call her, but she kept getting other calls so I told her I'd call back tomorrow nite.How are you doing?  I wish we all lived close by so we could get together to talk. Susan lives at least an hr.away, and I'm not exactly good about driving in Chicago traffic. I hope you're doing o.k.  I'll talk to you more tomorrow,cause I'm so tired, I'm rambling. Take care of your self. Hugs to you.
At 12:03pm on January 7, 2011, kathy obiedzinski said…
hi cindy how are you doing  i spoke to ellen last night for about 1/2 hour  or so she sounds good but she is just going thru a lot of pain with the rehab i think she said she is going to be moved but i forgot where to. long time no hear from you hope everything if going ok for you. i have ellens home address if you want it give me your # and i will call and give it to you. i guess she does not want people she does not know to have it. let me know ok
At 7:57pm on January 2, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, Don't know if you heard, but Ellen was in an accident on Dec.31. I know you are friends with her. Susan posted about it, with the phone no. to her room. We need to keep her spirits up. If you can, give her a call. Hope you are doing o.k. Hugs to you.
At 8:59pm on January 1, 2011, Barbara Roth said…
Hi Cindy, I hope we all have a peaceful and positive New Year. I do better when I'm around people, but today it was just me and the dogs. I have 2 dogs, one is a golden retreiver (Otis) and the other one is a golden retreiver/afghan mix (Blondie). They don't talk too much, but they help keep me company. I wish we didn't have to go through this pain, but I'm glad I have friends like you and Ellen, Susan and others to help me. It's been a little over 10 wks. now since Jim left. Amazing, didn't think I'd survive one wk. Take care of yourself. Hugs.
At 6:32pm on January 1, 2011, Susan Mayer said…
Hi Cindy - Thanks for the new year's wishes.  I hope 2011 brings you some peace and comfort, too.  It feels like I've crossed a barrier into this new year, leaving Steve behind.  It makes me very sad, but I also think it represents a necessary step toward rebuilding.  I don't know; I have days when I feel like I can handle going forward and days when I'm not sure I can.  More of the former than the latter, fortunately.  Take care of yourself.  Hugs, Susan
At 12:24am on December 31, 2010, Ellen Brant said…

Cindy, This is one of my favorite poems that carries me through at roughest times...Roger HUGS. Ellen~

 

At 6:11pm on December 30, 2010, Susan Mayer said…

Hi Cindy - Just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing, if you got through Christmas well enough.  I traveled over Christmas to see my granddaughter - my younger stepson's child - she's just turned 2.  I think Steve would have wanted me to do that, but it was hard, going without him.  I'll be glad when the holidays are over. I hope 2011 will be a better year that will bring you some comfort (well, me too, I guess).  Take care of yourself.

At 12:29am on December 24, 2010, Barbara Roth said…
Cindy, Thank you so much. I am so grateful to have met you and the others here. Losing Jim has been the hardest thing I ever had to face, and now Mom. My daughters and grandaughters are just reeling. Thank you for being here, thank you for your friendship, it means alot.
At 10:52pm on December 23, 2010, Ellen Brant said…
Cindy HUGS to you . Hope your day was peaceful within. Prayers. Ellen~
At 9:17pm on December 19, 2010, Ellen Brant said…

Cindy just wanted to stop by and let you know you are not alone with those feelings. I know you don't have a computer except at work, but you are in my thoughts over the weekend. Take care of Cindy. It has been a rough few days for me emotionally. HUGS Ellen~

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