Kaye's Comments

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At 6:25pm on June 20, 2012, Alicia Rodriguez said…
I'm so sorry for the loss of you're son my.son Jesse well.be gone 3 year's on 7/12/12 I miss him every day come here to vent when EVER you.feel the need to get you're feeling out we all know you're pain we've all lost a child here they say time heals all wounds but not true not for me well friend we are here for you. Hugs to you Alicia Jesse's Mom
At 12:18pm on June 16, 2012, Shirley Gutierrez said…

Dearest Kaye,

I am so sorry that you are having such deep problems. I wish I could give you magic words which would take it all away. If  had some I would use them too. My youngest of 3 daughters died on August 11th, 2009 of cancer. Seven months later my oldest daughter died on March 1st 2010 also of cancer. It has been a difficult 3 years for us however, "it is what it is" & I am so thankful that I had them for as long as I did. Looking back I have no regrets, we were a very close family, were together every chance we got & we miss them both every day. But, all our tears won't bring them back. I live now for the rest of my family. The other part of my life with 3 daughters is over.

Love to you,

Shirley

At 1:02pm on July 1, 2011, Micki said…

Same here Kaye, if ever you need to talk please feel free...

At 7:47pm on March 26, 2011, Amy Hendershot said…

Kaye, I'm sorry you had to lose your son because of mistakes by medical professionals. Ashley was hospitalized for 3 months on the respirator. She had started to recover 3 wks after she was admitted, when she came down with pneumonia again, this time from the ventilator. There were many posters in the hospital rooms about how to avoid VAP (ventilator acquired pneumonia), did someone not follow procedure? Her lung collapsed on Dec 9, 2009, and they did not know if she would survive. She did, and they were beginning to wean her off the ventilator when her heart stopped, and they could not revive her. She had begun physical therapy, and was pretty much breathing on her own the day she died. They told me she could have a slushie (her first real food in 3 months) the day she died, but when I brought it in, her heart rate was very high, so they said she could not have it. I knew she had a blood clot, and knew that when it travelled to the heart it could cause a high heart rate & I kept asking the nurse if that could be what happened. They said no, because she was on blood thinner. When she died, they said it would be $1000, that had to be paid up front before they would do an  autopsy.We said no, mostly because it would not bring her back, and also because I did not want to know someone may have screwed up, and my kid would still be alive if they hadn't. Supposedly the hospital was going to call and apologize for being harsh about the $1000, but they never did. Then I found out this year, that when they gave her a blood transfusion, it was tainted with Hepatitis C. Of course it does not matter now, but if she had lived, she would have had to deal with that the rest of her life. (although I would much rather have her dealing with that, than not being here at all. 

 

Amy/Ashley's mom

At 6:04pm on December 25, 2010, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…

Kaye, I'm so sorry for all the negative things you have going on in your life. I know life can be so cruel and it seems to happen when we are at our weakest. I'm sorry to say but you are right...there may not be anything done with what happen as the medical field is hard to prove anything or they will make things go away. It happened to my uncle all of a sudden 3 pages of his medical records were missing because the hospital actully killed him because they messed up too. When my aunt tried to do something about it she couldn't get a lawyer either, was told that it would to hard to prove. What is your son's name?

You know Kaye maybe it is too early to know if it will not work out with your father there, You said you had him since Wed. and this is diffinetly the hardest time of the year for you. Maybe getting pass the holiday and anniversary of his passing you will have a different mind frame, just a thought.  Please let me know how you are and I'd really like to know more about your son.

Your in my thoughts and prayers.  Macs    

At 11:12am on December 23, 2010, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…

Kaye, I just read your story and I'm so very sorry for you.  You are so right our court system is a big joke and if there is not money to be made for them they don't care.   I loss my son Logan, this last Oct. 26 and it is a very hard road to travel and I'd like very much to try and help you along the way. I know just talking about my Logan helps me. He was a funny, witty, smart and loving young man, so full of life, he'd light up the room when he came in. would you like to tell me about your son I'm here to listen. My birthday is today, Dec.23rd, I miss not hearing from Logan to wish me a Happy one.  Sorry to have read that you had loss your son on 12/23 last year. If you would like to post back just click on my name and it will bring you to my page and write where is says comments. I'll be waiting to hear from you Kaye and please know that I'm thinking of you and prayering for you.

BIG ((HUGS)) to you, Macs 

At 6:48pm on November 19, 2010, Susan - Donny's Mom said…
Yes....different drugs....medical conditions...all the deadly combination for a loss of a young life. No answers for anything.......just the loving family left with a huge hole in their lives....
The next two months are going to be a challange for all of us. Keep posting, keep in touch, let the feelings out and we will all make it through together.
Hugs to you today
At 9:57am on November 19, 2010, JoAnn Brozowski said…
Hi Kaye - I lost my son, my only child Tyler, at age 24 in January of this year. I know exactly what you are feeling - I think we all do. Keep in touch - it really helps.
JoAnn
At 10:33pm on November 17, 2010, Susan - Donny's Mom said…
U r right ....I didn't have anything on my page. Guess when I joined I posted what happened on the main page.
When I joined there were only 364 people on this site....now there are 708...how sad is that...and that is only in less than a year. Shattered lives all across the US.
Dr.'s give way too many perscriptions. If you read on this site so many young people have been given drugs from Dr.s and really shouldn't have. It is an ongoing problem for sure.
Take care now.
At 10:12pm on November 17, 2010, Susan - Donny's Mom said…
Kaye....If you click on Donny's picture it should go right into my personal "page". It shows pictures of my family, Donny's girls and happier times.
Glad you stayed in this website, for sure we all need each other, and especially with all the holidays coming.
We lost our Donny on Dec 25th 2009, Christmas morning. We had no idea what happened as he died in his sleep. What they finally decided was it was an accidental overdose of pain pills and anit-depressants. He also had untreated sleep aphnea and was sick the day before. All a deadly combination to make a heart stop of a young person.
He had broken his neck at a swimming function with the family 10 years prior and was always on some kind of pain bills to keep working in heavy construction to support his family. then his wife decided she wanted out of their marriage and he got on anti-depressants to deal with that. It was an ugly messy expensive divorce so he was very sad that he lost what he loved in life and that was his family being together.
Sometimes this life we have on earth is so sad and hard to take. Not everyone can deal with what we are dealt. He was 39 and left 3 wonderful sweet teenage girls. They are very dear to me and are still a big part of our family so thank goodness for that.
Keep in touch and we will all try and give support to each other for the holidays arriving.
Hugs to you tonight.
At 9:27pm on November 17, 2010, JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 said…
Kaye, this is joyce, Amy's mom, so when i saw where you said, Amy, I didnt understand who it was for. so i think you meant me, joyce. anyway, if you clik on view this thread under our comments, it shows what we said. if there was anything else from others, i didnt see any. there are other people who commented here too, so im not sure what comments, posts or blogs you need to view.
chk back to see if this helped.
At 9:27pm on October 31, 2010, JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 said…
I had to re-read your story. how sad. Our lawyer didnt go into detail about our daughters case. Just told us there was no negligence on the parents part or the home owners policy. I had to read about things on the internet. What I found as for laws in PA for social host laws, didnt apply. If you are an adult, you are responsible for your ownself. My daughter was 21. Her friends put her to bed after she got drunk, along with them, all underage, about 20. She was .298 BAC. They had been doing shots, eating pizza and then playing beer pong.
I finally got in touch with the boyfriend who never contacted me once after we buried her. He told me after they put her to bed, she had fallen out. they put her back, made sure she was sleeping and then left her (in a room, she wasnt used to being in.
She ended up falling thru a window 15 ft to a sidewalk. She had closed head injuries, never regained consiciousness. She was in icu 5 days. I cant wait to meet with her to hear her side of the story.
theone other lawyer we called, never returned our call. Said they sue for money or reinbursemnts. I said I didnt want money, just an answer. I think if they werent married to anyone,or no children and did not support anyone, we had no case. all bills had been paid and her funeral paid by friends and family. so our 2 yr statuete is up. It still sucks to be without her.
Good luck and dont give up. all cases are different.
At 8:52pm on October 30, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…
Kaye, I understand the wanting to lay down and die, but you cannot. You must be strong....you must survive. I wish I had some magic words that would make you feel better. There aren't any. I do know that even though you may feel like your other son and husband will move on without you, it is not so. My husband killed himself on 7/22/10...he wanted to be with our son. I hate him for that. HATE HIM! I am so flipping angry I can't even miss him. I don't know that I will ever be able to get over the abandonment that I feel. The total desolation that he cared so little about me that he left me alone to deal with losing our son, and not only that, he left me here to plan another funeral, do all the crappy things I never wanted to do the first time I had to do it....and here I was doing it again. I was just his wife...imagine how your son would feel. I truly think it would make him feel unworthy of your love....you can't do that to him. You can't do it to your husband, and please...for your own sake...you can't do it for you.

Maybe write a letter to the media...state all the facts, in sequence of how they happened, a factual accounting of a serious mistake that cost your son his life. I would be happy to help you do this if you would like. I am not an attorney, not by a long shot, but I do write a pretty good letter....Just a thought. Let me know if I can help you. I will be here for you anytime you want to vent...or cry, or yell, or just talk.
At 6:10pm on October 27, 2010, Susan - Donny's Mom said…
Kaye....I feel the same way as Jennifer. No one is mad about what you posted. We all knew it was a very sensitive day for you when the email came out. We just are all thankful that Tami had something in her to actually start this website that has helped so many of us Moms. Please hang in there with us.
I too lost my son (39) on December 2009. Actually on Christmas morning.
So I know what we are going to be facing soon....all the dreaded holidays.
We all try to help each other as much as we can. We all feel sadness, anger, helplessness. But getting in the webisite gets us through some very bad days and we make it through one more.
I think we all have "let it go" and hope you stay with us and we can help you through sad days, angry days or whatever!
You and I will certainly be thinking of our sons on the days so close that we lost them.
My anger is starting to lesson....but it is still there. I just don't know who to blame for what happened to Donny....so working through my feelings along with everyone else.
Hugs to you
At 9:20pm on October 26, 2010, Jennifer - Zach's Mom said…
I also wanted to say your son is a beautiful man. What a gift he is to you!
At 9:18pm on October 26, 2010, Jennifer - Zach's Mom said…
Kaye, Please don't leave this site. It is here to help and all the people here have a common bond ... even though it's grief from the loss of a child, it's still a network of people who can help each other cope. You have been through hell, more than what a lot of us have/are going through. If you don't have support at home around you ... know that you have it here. I just found this site a couple of weeks ago and it has already given me some peace of mind. Even when I feel I can't go on, I come here and find strength. You can too. Vent when you need, ask questions when you need, or just read comments when you need. It all helps. Keep in touch, let us know more about your son. Let us know what's happening with everything, share, share, share! I hope you stay and we all can get to know each other!
God Bless us all, Jennifer-Zach's mom
At 5:08pm on October 26, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…
Sorry...it only lets you type so much in one comment...I know I am rambling..here is my point....I wondered how I could go through all of that again....but I did it...and I am surviving. I know you are hurting, and feel like an outsider...but your son needs you. Your husband needs you. You have something to live fore.....Can you imagine what your son would feel if he lost you now too? The self doubt, the abandonment, the guilt that he wasn't enough to keep you living? I know I am praying on the guilt issue here, and maybe that is unfair to you, but you have to know that your son, and your husband need you...you do what has to be done, and survive....thats what I do, I survive...one day I will start to live again..until then...SURVIVING is all we can do....I wish I lived closer to you, I would come and help you take care of the things you want to get done...then maybe you could help me with my sons room too! :-)....please keep in touch.
At 5:08pm on October 26, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…
Sorry...it only lets you type so much in one comment...I know I am rambling..here is my point....I wondered how I could go through all of that again....but I did it...and I am surviving. I know you are hurting, and feel like an outsider...but your son needs you. Your husband needs you. You have something to live fore.....Can you imagine what your son would feel if he lost you now too? The self doubt, the abandonment, the guilt that he wasn't enough to keep you living? I know I am praying on the guilt issue here, and maybe that is unfair to you, but you have to know that your son, and your husband need you...you do what has to be done, and survive....thats what I do, I survive...one day I will start to live again..until then...SURVIVING is all we can do....I wish I lived closer to you, I would come and help you take care of the things you want to get done...then maybe you could help me with my sons room too! :-)....please keep in touch.
At 5:02pm on October 26, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…
Kaye, You have been through the ringer haven't you? Did you ever consider going to the media about the ambulance company and their failing equipment? Equipment that could have saved your sons life? I wonder if the ambulance company would have given you the time of day then? You have been through a lot. I think how hard it must have been for you to deal with the bipolar your son had, and then to deal with his death from another state. I thought it was terrible to have to do it at all, I can't even imagine what I would have done if my son was not local. I can understand your anger at the attorneys, and the EMT's, and the ambulance company...I am ticked off and ready to blast them just from reading your story....it is truly an outrage that they can be so standoffish to you when it their failing equipment could have saved your sons life...They should be bending over backwards with apologies and assurances that this won't happen again...if nothing else! I lost my son 3 1/2 years ago in a motorcycle accident. He was our only child...Days became a blur...I did all the crappy things a parent has to do to bury their child....my husband couldn't handle it at all...I felt completely alone, and I remember thinking why my son? A question I will never have an answer to....My husband wanted nothing more than to be with our son, and on 7/22/10 he took a bunch of sleeping pills, and left me here alone. Utterly and completely alone. Yes I have family, I come from a family of 8 kids, but not one of them can even begin to imagine what I am going through...Kaye, you have another child that needs you, and a husband that is there for you. I can tell you, when i found out that my husband took his own life, I felt worthless. I was not enough to keep him here. He did not love me enough to stay with me...I know that he was hurting, but so was I, and he left me alone...not only alone, but made me have to plan another entire funeral...to be continued
At 5:02pm on October 26, 2010, Cathy Pearly said…
Kaye, You have been through the ringer haven't you? Did you ever consider going to the media about the ambulance company and their failing equipment? Equipment that could have saved your sons life? I wonder if the ambulance company would have given you the time of day then? You have been through a lot. I think how hard it must have been for you to deal with the bipolar your son had, and then to deal with his death from another state. I thought it was terrible to have to do it at all, I can't even imagine what I would have done if my son was not local. I can understand your anger at the attorneys, and the EMT's, and the ambulance company...I am ticked off and ready to blast them just from reading your story....it is truly an outrage that they can be so standoffish to you when it their failing equipment could have saved your sons life...They should be bending over backwards with apologies and assurances that this won't happen again...if nothing else! I lost my son 3 1/2 years ago in a motorcycle accident. He was our only child...Days became a blur...I did all the crappy things a parent has to do to bury their child....my husband couldn't handle it at all...I felt completely alone, and I remember thinking why my son? A question I will never have an answer to....My husband wanted nothing more than to be with our son, and on 7/22/10 he took a bunch of sleeping pills, and left me here alone. Utterly and completely alone. Yes I have family, I come from a family of 8 kids, but not one of them can even begin to imagine what I am going through...Kaye, you have another child that needs you, and a husband that is there for you. I can tell you, when i found out that my husband took his own life, I felt worthless. I was not enough to keep him here. He did not love me enough to stay with me...I know that he was hurting, but so was I, and he left me alone...not only alone, but made me have to plan another entire funeral...to be continued

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